Status Updates From Siddhartha : Your soul is t...

and yet again he is not fulfilled

also there is a passage that states that Siddhartha did not listen to the merchants worries or how he felt. So he knew that he had troubles and yet it seems almost like they were very low on his list of things to pay attention to. almost fickle. he believes himself better than many.

i am perceiving Siddhartha as someone who want to learn so much and yet makes people feel or believes them to be less than bc they do not think like him or maybe they do not know as much as he does. a bit condescending. Maybe i'm missing the point of this

He has renounced most worldly possessions and yet he wants to attain them again to learn love from Kamala. Interesting

Has he found meaning? or just been awaked to the truth?

He realized that the answers were inside him. That he has been trying to learn so much from so many things and yet he did not stop to learn about himself and just sit and ingest it all. His spiritual awakening

He feels like he left his old self with the Buddha's teachings. His friend but also I think he realized what his goal was

So he believes that teachers and learning are not what will help him, but to continue and journey and experience life and that way he may fund what he is looking for

he's met another & also found flaws. He is roaming looking to be fulfilled and even this Buddha is not what he can accept. but its also interesting that the Buddha tells him to beware of the inquisitiveness as the purpose of HIS teachings are to deliver those from suffering. kind of like he's missing the point of the teachings. its okay to question, but too much and what do you have? more questions & never fulfilled

This book holds a bitter place in my heart, but I think I am loving this book nevertheless 🤗

Or maybe Siddhartha realized that what he wanted to learn or more so what he wanted to quench would not be filled by the Samana's. He had learned all that they had and it was not enough and it never would be.

It seems like he's having an existential crisis over his decisions and is now wondering why he would choose to do this (my perception)

I think the changes that Siddhartha was seeking are not what he expected Govinda is trying to encourage Siddhartha but i think that he's losing faith or more so its becoming to much in this moment. He wondering why he's doing this and if the oldest of them have not yet reached Nirvana, the what hope is there for him? Why not just be with the lesser people and learn all the same things but in maybe a bit more comfort?