Status Updates From Księga Vanitasa, tom 9 (Ksi...

oh my god so he really went into the forest and hid there and LEFT THE PICTURE BOOK WHERE THEY COULD FIND IT so they'd go out looking for him and be all worried???? he wanted assurance that they would actually care and not just give up like the boy's family in the story did?????? and then he immediately regrets it when he sees noé and domi sobbing akjsdakdhka that's SO preteen oh my god louis too fucking real

louis as the child who intentionally got lost and found a new family in a different world after his real family scorned him and were happier pretending like he never existed at all? yeah that tracks

that quote could also relate to vanitas and luna, right? vanitas was definitely more wary of luna, but it seems like he really came to love them. so maybe when they marked him out of a deep need to keep him alive, he saw it only as the ultimate betrayal? idk i still think there was more to vanitas killing luna than that

"the more you worship someone as a perfect being, the more even a single deviation strikes you as a betrayal" WOAH OKAY this seems extra pointed after this volume in particular. astolfo latched onto roland the same way that mikhail latched onto vanitas, and they both ended up feeling betrayed and alone when roland and vanitas messed up in some way

vanitas trying to downplay how much time he and noé spend together mmhmmm as if he didn't just do a ted talk on noé's exact habits and tendencies when he's wandering around town

dante clocking vanitas' very obvious affection for noé is HILARIOUS every single time and i do in fact need more of it

oh so we're gonna go from complete and utter devastation to noé in a corset and slicked back hair right right right this isn't bad for my heart at all

we've seen noé hesitate before with astolfo, and vanitas recognized that weakness and immediately switched their tactic bc of it. but now that they're fighting EACH OTHER, vanitas can use that knowledge against him. bc johann is absolutely right. vanitas is much more willing to fight to the death, even if it destroys himself in the process, bc he knows what it is to be completely powerless and he can NEVER go back

vanitas being the one to give luna their name is really devastating the more i theorize that they had the same existential dread and confusion and disgust that vanitas feels about his own identity

i NEED all of the luna backstory right fucking now cause wdym they tried to figure out what they are and then deeply regretted it???????? were they also searching for the answer to "what is salvation" and found something they wished they could un-know? were they also deeply disgusted with themselves and their very existence like vanitas is?

"kill them without fail" as a wretched parallel to "i will save you without fail": the latter being the mantra that vanitas repeats to others as a way to bolster his arrogant vampire doctor persona, the former being the mantra that he repeats to himself as a desperate attempt at survival due to trauma that may or may not stem directly from luna's last words
also reverting back to calling noé "that vampire" is EVIL

also potentially interesting detail: vanitas covers his left eye as he warns noé to stay back and is jolted back to luna's (?) words when noé finally rushes him, and then he shoots and hits noé's right eye......something something an eye for an eye? or a metaphor for how they're both unable to see things clearly bc of their individual traumas, and how that forces them to be at odds?

these pages with no dialogue and dragged out action are SO FUCKING WELL DONE. i already know what happens but i'm holding my breath anyway bc of the spacing and the astronomical tension it creates. the sheer disbelief and betrayal on both of their faces, and also the creeping realization and acceptance that neither of them is willing to back down. they WILL hurt each other, and the first blood has been drawn

OKAY HOLD UP THIS IS MASSIVE
is luna saying this??????? we never got any indication that they knew vanitas' real name, but unless he just had them call him "child" for the time they spent together, i assume he had told them, right???? maybe he said it during that time when mikhail had fallen asleep? were these their dying words?? is vanitas somehow protecting luna by keeping the details of their death a secret?????

VANITAS OFFERING TO KILL DOMI SO NOÉ WILL BE "FREE" TOO???????? BC HE'S CONVINCED HIMSELF, ESPECIALLY RN, THAT FREEDOM AND SALVATION IS BEING COMPLETELY ALONE????????? and of course that's what sets noé off bc it's simply unthinkable to him, it's the exact kind of rhetoric that has disgusted him and made him blow up on vanitas before

this is so incredible bc both noé and vanitas are at their absolute breaking points, faced with their WORST NIGHTMARES, and they have no choice but to tear the other apart in order to survive. vanitas is terrified of having his memories revealed, and so he has to push noé far away. noé is terrified of losing domi and is wracked with all the guilt of losing louis, and so he has to betray vanitas

okay. so vanitas is HORRIFIED at the idea of luna coming back to life bc he really has been working to erase them from existence, which is why he's been trying to eradicate curse-bearers. but WHY. is it really just bc they bit him against his wishes?? or did they ask him to try to repair the danger they've done??? i just feel like it's gotta be more layered and complicated than a simple revenge plot

my head is SPINNING trying to theorize what happened. so on the same day that vanitas killed luna, did they all get attacked or something??? and mikhail got kidnapped and had his arm chopped off (the same one with the mark on it!!) and vanitas thought he was dead so he just went off on his own? and then mikhail was "saved" by teacher? i feel like i need a murder board to try to piece this all together

"if it's to make that happen, do you suppose you'll be forgiven no matter what you do?" i'm sorry who is saying this????? is it mikhail speaking to himself in the second person?? or is it maybe teacher urging him to move forward with this plan of his cause he wants to observe the outcome??? either way it's eerie as fuck and really highlights how desperate mikhail is to go back to how things were

NO I STILL HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS
if anything, this just makes me even more positive that we'll get vanitas' side of the story at some point, whether it's through noé drinking his blood or not. we still have no idea how vanitas ended up with the mark despite rejecting it so fervently, or how and why he killed luna, though that last panel supports my theory that it was not done out of any malice

vanitas MUST'VE said something else after "i'm not. i'm....-", right??????? mochizuki wouldn't have had mikhail fall asleep in that moment if she wasn't trying to set up a reveal later down the line when we eventually get vanitas' version of the story. i wonder what could've been so important to hide from us (and noé)....maybe it's just really vulnerable and it'll be more of an emotional reveal than a narrative one

vanitas desperately wanting the answer as to why his father saved his life in his final moments is SO heartbreaking. he genuinely cannot comprehend why he's even alive, especially with all the guilt he carries just for EXISTING and now with the added layer of not being completely human. and every time i remember that this flashback is currently being seen by noé without vanitas' consent a piece of my soul dies

vanitas being pseudo-raised by actors and circus performers makes SO MUCH SENSE WOW. he has his mother's beauty and knack for the dramatics, and now he's a doctor (of sorts) like his father was. the more we learn about vanitas, the more it becomes clear that his entire being has been pieced together from the shreds of familial connections he's experienced in his life. who is he really? even his name is not his own

i should've known it would get worse!!! it was bad enough for vanitas to call out to his dead mother, but knowing that he never even KNEW HER BECAUSE SHE DIED GIVING BIRTH TO HIM??????? so he was calling out for comfort he's never had in his entire life??????? AND the added layer of his birth causing his mother's death as if he needed more to feel guilty about. he's always been intertwined with death huh

1. luna's bracelet is SO similar to naenia's, maybe even identical. i'm SURE they have some deeper history that i would love to learn more about, so i hope that's coming at some point
2. vanitas muttering "mother" in his fever-induced haze paralleling how he mutters "luna" when he's poisoned by astolfo????? diabolical work
3. every panel of mikhail makes my heart physically twist in my chest

aaaand i'm tearing up already cool awesome this is fine
little lone wolf vanitas who's already so jaded and deeply disgusted with himself and the world at large, even with ALL THAT HURT, he still runs to luna and mikhail. to the hope of family, of warmth, of a new beginning for himself. i am not making it out of this volume alive i swear to god

GOD mikhail and vanitas are two sides of the same coin when it comes to how their trauma impacts their relationships with others. mikhail instantly latches onto anyone who protects him, even unintentionally, and forms an immediate bond with them, while vanitas is so deeply distrusting that his instinct is instead to lash out and avoid forming attachments at all, even if it means being alone

just when vanitas thought he'd been completely violated and mangled beyond comprehension, it's moreau telling him that his MIND won't survive the experiment that finally breaks him. all the rage shatters in an instant as he realizes that there are in fact worse things than losing control of your body. his mind is all he has left, and that's why he fights so hard to protect his memories against noé later on

LOVE vanitas' expression on this page. he looks like a wild animal, which is ironic considering the fact that his rage stems from moreau twisting his very humanity into something foreign. he's not human anymore, and so when he vows to slaughter moreau and all the doctors (which i very much hope he gets to do at some point), he looks every bit the part. god this is tough to read but it's so incredibly well done

new mystery unlocked?????? we're definitely gonna meet no. 70 at some point, if we haven't already.....genuinely no clue