Status Updates From Onyx Flame (Onyx Flame, #1)

Onyx Flame (Onyx Flame, #1) Onyx Flame (Onyx Flame, #1)
by


Status Updates Showing 1-21 of 21

order by

Karīna
Karīna is 25% done
The guy still sounds like a 15 year old in my head, I cannot imagine him as anything but a teenager. Someone saying he’s this big guy or him saying he’s a VP just sounds to me like a kid playing dress up.

Honestly, this is horrible. Is it the name Colin? Colins are just always the little brothers, I guess. But no, there have been stupider names before, the writing is just that bad.
Jun 05, 2023 10:51AM Add a comment
Onyx Flame (Onyx Flame, #1)

Karīna
Karīna is 15% done
The writing is sooooo bad.

He walked to the door. He found the body. The body was her. There was someone screaming. I realised it was me. They came soon afterwards. My parents made funeral arrangements.

Like? Wtf? Slow down on some things maybe? Wtf? Writing a chapter this way can be fun, but as soon soon as that is how the whole book is written? Bad. Vary bad. Gross.

And oh, god, the POVs. So unnecessary.
Jun 05, 2023 10:17AM Add a comment
Onyx Flame (Onyx Flame, #1)