Status Updates From Onyx Flame (Onyx Flame, #1)
Onyx Flame (Onyx Flame, #1) by
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Karīna
is 25% done
The guy still sounds like a 15 year old in my head, I cannot imagine him as anything but a teenager. Someone saying he’s this big guy or him saying he’s a VP just sounds to me like a kid playing dress up.
Honestly, this is horrible. Is it the name Colin? Colins are just always the little brothers, I guess. But no, there have been stupider names before, the writing is just that bad.
— Jun 05, 2023 10:51AM
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Honestly, this is horrible. Is it the name Colin? Colins are just always the little brothers, I guess. But no, there have been stupider names before, the writing is just that bad.
Karīna
is 15% done
The writing is sooooo bad.
He walked to the door. He found the body. The body was her. There was someone screaming. I realised it was me. They came soon afterwards. My parents made funeral arrangements.
Like? Wtf? Slow down on some things maybe? Wtf? Writing a chapter this way can be fun, but as soon soon as that is how the whole book is written? Bad. Vary bad. Gross.
And oh, god, the POVs. So unnecessary.
— Jun 05, 2023 10:17AM
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He walked to the door. He found the body. The body was her. There was someone screaming. I realised it was me. They came soon afterwards. My parents made funeral arrangements.
Like? Wtf? Slow down on some things maybe? Wtf? Writing a chapter this way can be fun, but as soon soon as that is how the whole book is written? Bad. Vary bad. Gross.
And oh, god, the POVs. So unnecessary.
