Status Updates From Young Women

THAT FRIDAY EVENING, I went to an event I'd seen advertised on one of those social media sites for people who didn't have enough friends - that was the subtext, anyway.
Like Tinder without the sex part. This one was for people who claimed to 'enjoy intelligent conversation'.

I'd have said he was a pleasant, kind, nonabusive man.
What more could you want for your friend?

My occasional forays to Lucy's place, in which she made vegetable lasagne and she and Andrew quizzed me about what they called my Tinder adventures, always left me feeling like a stray cat that they occasionally fed. It was as if Lucy and Andrew had somehow managed to bypass all the friction of life by simply landing safely in each other's arms. It left me feeling ugly, battle-bruised.