Status Updates From Money and Love: An Intellig...

“When both people feel valued, intimacy, laughter, and joy come more easily.”

“Paradoxically, by making yourself vulnerable to your partner, you preserve your marriage and make it stronger.”

“We know very few people combining paid work and care work who feel like they consistently get adequate sleep (yes, this is a problem).”

“It turns out that part of what’s driving our desire for more [living] space is the fact that as a society, we are really bad at getting rid of things-and the more space we have, the more things we acquire and the more time we need to spend organizing.”

“In the same way that a budget reflects your priorities, the way you divide housework speaks volumes about your values, your relationship, and how you see your partner.”

“It’s very common to want to have a child sometime in the future but never quite feel ready, even if you have a partner, some career success, and other key pieces of the equation.”

“Overscheduling children, even with diverse and stimulating activities, has been shown to lessen children’s critical executive functioning skills (planning, problem-solving, decision-making, and self-regulation).”

“Whatever the case, being able to discuss money openly and honestly is critical to the long-term health of any relationship. This means disclosing debt and addressing long-term financial goals.”

“when you feel a relationship has promise, initiate conversations about big topics early. By airing your viewpoints sooner rather than later, you will not only understand your partner’s priorities better but also gain practice talking through emotionally charged issues.”

The 5Cs Framework: “clarify, communicate, consider a broad range of choices, check in with trusted sources and confidants, and explore likely consequences.”

“In reality . . . taking a deliberate approach toward love doesn’t diminish it. By entering into a relationship with a clear-eyed view, you’re more likely to enjoy more love for a longer period precisely because you’re able to avoid some of the pitfalls associated with relationships.”