Status Updates From So Compassionate it Hurts: ...

The path was hard, and it did not need to be as hard, which is why I am asking—no, that is not accurate—I am demanding accommodation on behalf of any person who cannot for whatever reason advocate effectively enough for themselves, whose voices are not resonating, because the deck is so stacked against them.

All my life I have stimmed. Stimming is a comforting patterned movement. I used to wave my arms around wildly; now I shake my legs side to side or up and down when sitting. People still notice it sometimes, but less often. I wish I could still stim like I used to. My beautiful little boy stands on his head on the sofa to comfort himself—the only time I stop him is if he is eating Cheerios and could choke.

Throughout my life, I have deliberately worked on eliminating many of those autistic behaviors. I was doing this way before I discovered language for my difference. I gaze back at my childhood and early adulthood and it makes me sad and angry at the world that I had to work so hard to change my neural wiring.