Status Updates From The Oxford Book of Modern F...

“‘Wishes always come in threes,’ the Wizard said. ‘And sacrifices, too. So far, you’ve given up walking. You’ve given up speech. One more to go.’ ‘Why does he want me to give up the dog?’ she wrote. The Wizard looked sorrowfully at her from under his bushy brows. ‘Because you love it,’ he said. ‘But that takes nothing from him!’ she scribbled…the same thing could be said of her height and her speech.”

Every witch should have a pet bat named Basil 😊
Also…giving suitors impossible tasks that might kill them probably should be regarded as a red flag, either of the prince/princess being an insufferable asshole or the future in-laws being insufferable assholes who are either forcing their kid to marry or not considering anyone good enough for them.

“‘I hope all your mixtures are not as expensive,’ said Alan apprehensively. ‘Oh dear no,’ said the old man. ‘It would be no good charging that sort of price for a love potion, for example. Young people who need a love potion very seldom have five thousand dollars. Otherwise they would not need a love potion.’”

“Life is such unutterable hell, solely because it is sometimes beautiful. If we could only be miserable all the time, if there could be no such things as love or beauty or hope, if I could be absolutely certain that my love would never be returned: How much more simple life would be. One could plod through the Siberian salt mines of existence without being bothered about happiness.”
Uh…TH White, you OK, man?

“One day she decided it was better to be a Wild Thing in the lonely marshes than to have a soul that cried for beautiful things and found not one…she told her story to one of the factory girls and said to her: ‘The other girls are poorly clad and they do soulless work; surely some of them have no souls and would take mine.’ But the factory girl said to her: ‘All the poor have souls; it is all they have.’”

“A king once died, as kings are apt to do, being as liable to shortness of breath as other mortals…His father had left him a full treasury…But the foolish king just deceased had squandered every penny in riotous living…Don’t ask me to explain what riotous living is. I only know, from hearsay, that it is an excellent way to get rid of money.”