Status Updates From Golden Boys

Context: one of the MCs was just shot in the chest.
"His ribs heaved, and the wound made an even more obscene, wet, farting noise. [...] I clapped my hand over it in midfart, sealing the hole so he could breathe. I swear, that's what it says!

I was about to make a comment about a reference to a "proudly upturned cock" but then I read this: "My own cock tapped gently under my navel, in time with my heartbeat, like a polite but insistent bill collector" *snortgiggle*

I like this.....

"Then, for the first time, I mentally compared the size of
his insertion probe to the size of my insertion port. Uh oh." - ROFL!