Leia > Recent Status Updates

You and a super intelligent gebbeth both get one million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the gebbeth touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What’s your plan?

Jasper you bitch

Oh she’s the dumbest person alive I swear. This is the third act tension??? THIS?????

She really thought this man was calling his dick “Ebenezer”. I can’t 😭😭😭😭

My robe’s lookin at me kinda funny across the room……🫦

Mmkay 🙃

Weaaaaaak. You’re weak Julie

April you are the dumbest woman alive I swear

April’s attorney: “Don’t sign anything”
April 5 seconds later: *signs document without READING IT*

“Leo…fell.”
He must be talking about Leo Bressler.

Girl. Literally what other Leo is there. You’ve been talking about this Leo for 160 pages. OBVIOUSLY ITS THAT LEO WHAT DO YOU MEAN

“Dr. Williams sees how upset I am. He’s perceptive about things like that.” Bitch your mom just attacked you, I don’t think it’s hard to figure you might be a bit upset.

You know, for a doctor, Freida seems to wildly overestimate the amount of blood that comes out of normal wounds

This person means business 😡

Why is Freida obsessed with blonde women and their dark roots

“That’s right — my husband shaves his head”. Riveting. “I screamed and pulled out my can of mace when he came into the living room with his newly shorn head for the first time. I thought he was going to burgle me”. This is what I come for.

Alright Freida, let’s go. Take me on a ride

Poirot is such a diva, I love him

I don’t know how to explain what about this book feels weird, but nothing feels cohesive.

Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.

Dang this lady knows ball.

I don’t know if I can keep going after that 😬🥲 I hate it

Thou saucy witch!

Referring to your ween as “my guy” deserves jail time.

😟

NO. AAAAHHHH. ICK. ICK ICK ICK.

Oh good lord that can’t be it -.-