Joseph > Recent Status Updates

"Damien, I'm sorry. I didn't know—how could I?"

My dude. He may not have said the words, "I am afraid of heights," but he wasn't exactly being subtle about it.

I mean, you seemed to get that he was nervous about jumping off a building. Why do you THINK people are nervous about that?

"Cape-fearing family." I think this is supposed to be "cape-wearing family."

"Also, does he really think I have that kind of money, or is he on to me?"

Don't you have that kind of money? You said that you charged $20 to get into your birthday party, and that you had about 200 guests. That's $4,000 right there.

Okay, Damien, I get that you're trying to freak her out, but please stop, you are making me very uncomfortable.

This is simultaneously a clever trick but also should have not have realistically worked.

"Just as no self-respecting superhero would have laser eyes like my mom..."

Superman. Cyclops. Martian Manhunter.

"...no self-respecting villain would be able to fly."

Magneto. Black Adam. Any of the many evil Kryptonians.

Yeah, he's definitely going to be the Crimson Flash.

He seems nice. I hope he's in the story more, even though Damien's dad is obviously going to be the Crimson Flash.

I'm not so sure about tigers.

Is Hur Miriam's husband or son? I think Fleg is mixing midrashim.

Is Hur Miriam's husband or son? I think Fleg is mixing midrashim.

Okay, I'm pretty sure THIS is artistic license.

"Serah, the last descendant of Joseph's last brother."

What are you talking about? That implies all the Israelites are dead, except for Joseph's tribes. Do you mean the last CHILD of Joseph's brothers?

I don't know if there's a midrash about this or something, but I'm pretty sure Zipporah has to go with Moses for the whole thing at the inn.

"'Mark's way,' said Mark, and clove [Tristram] through the brain."

And there was a FUCK TON of rejoicing! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Okay, she's like, pining to death, how does this poem still have ten more pages to get through?

WHAT?!

Like...you knew what she was doing. GOD HIMSELF intervened to make sure you knew what she was doing. And your response was to...let her do it? HELP her do it? Is Merlin just...very, very, very stupid? WTF?

You're losing points with the Mark hate, Tennyson.

I get that you're aiming for "positive spin, a la Joshua and Caleb," but it's coming off a lot like you're just planning to lie by omission.

The first two quotes seemed to confirm my suspicion that Austen's appeal is probably just divided along gender lines, but apparently Charlotte Bronte had a lot of the same problems with her that I do. Makes me want to get around to Jane Eyre faster.

"...have been in love with you ever since you were thirteen at least."

At which time he would have been 29. *retches*

"I shall be able to say three dull things as soon as ever I open my mouth, shan't I?"

Kudos for self-awareness, at least.

Oh no, she had to talk to poor people!!!

Okay! Took a while, but actual flirting between the main couple.

I don't think I can five this more than three stars at this point. I have endured too many of Miss Bates' text blocks.

We're supposed to be seeing Mrs. Elton as a foil for Emma, right? Seeing herself as superior to everyone else in town, and now choosing to be a patron for Jane Fairfax like Emma is for Henrietta...she bugs Emma because she has the same flaws, except, ostensibly, at least, without the nuances that we see in Emma's head.

"But she is so amusing, so extremely amusing! I am very fond of hearing Miss Bates talk."

There is something wrong with this man.

I'm not sure anything in that chapter was actually necessary.

Also, I get that "annoyingly garrulous" is Miss Bates' gimmick, but you don't need to tell us EVERYTHING that she says. Going on for MULTIPLE PAGES to tell us that Mr. Knightley gave her apples. You can give us the first hundred words or so and then say, "Emma's mind wandered as Miss Bates continued until they got to the house," or something.

At least 50% of this chapter should have been cut.

"I was sixteen years old when you were born."

Don't tell us that!