Joseph > Recent Status Updates

They forgot to translate the "Kingdom of the Greeks" date.

This first paragraph sounds more like Passover.

So...what? Was Jesus reincarnated or something?

Missing quotation mark.

"...you will see a vision of it in with water."

I assume that's supposed to be "in THE water?" I don't know, that just seems like a weird way to phrase it.

The penultimate paragraph doesn't make sense, as it describes Jacob stopping Jacob from killing the protagonist. Clearly it meant that Simon stopped him.

Typo: a "Mother" that should be capitalized.

"...then a large bottle of Coke and a two-pound bag of potato chips..."

I miss not being on a diet.

Missing quotation mark.

"What do you know about Hanukkah goblins?"
"I've read about them in books."

Do you mean the Eric A. Kimmel book, or are there others?

Huh. A great miracle really did happen there.

"'So we're trying to start a lawsuit? Then you ought to find yourself an advocate.'
"'Just let me in, and I'll find one in a hurry.'"

Hate to break it to you, Willibald, but I don't think you're going to find many lawyers in Heaven.

I see Brother Francis' trick. He's gonna eat the whole soup while Angelo gets murdered.

"I'm trapped, Mindy thought. He's going to eat me for sure!"

Good for him!

Kitty deserves to eat tiny people. As a treat.

Typo: "as she came by the the same way." Extra "the."

FINALLY! But how are there still 54 pages in this book?

"...and ever from himself." Might be a typo? It technically works as is, but "even from himself" would be how most people say it.

Dang, it's not everyone who can ask their brother-in-law for a favor after the sister/wife in question ran off with her adulterous lover and bastard child. Stiva must be REALLY charming.

Ah, my own birth was twenty-two hours. Somebody should have told Levin that they can be that long.

Honestly waiting to see if this whole section is going to have a point or not.

This is unfortunately common, particularly during Levin's parts.

I hate to say it, but I sort of feel the same way about this novel as Levin feels about that fantasia.

Good luck reading this Russian novel if you don't know French.

This back cover is not accurate.

This back cover is not accurate.

Okay, so Varney's final actual for-real-honest backstory a.) contained nothing that we hadn't already seen play out in this book ten times before, except b.) a bunch of stuff about Cromwell and Charles II which doesn't matter and was just there 'cause, I dunno, Rymer wanted to discuss centuries-old politics in this vampire horror story.

Stop cutting back to Bevan just so that he can ask "Should I believe that this guy that I know is a vampire is actually a vampire?" It's pointless, and also it makes me hate this story more by reminding me that Bevan exists in it.

Man, all these bits are repetitive. Varney sneaks into a room and bites a girl. She screams. He flees. Everyone wakes up. Parent cries "murder!" even though the victim just fainted. Menfolk set up watch the next night. Hopefully this will be the last one, but I wouldn't put it past Rymer to slip in another in the next eight pages.

The narration keeps referring to Russians as "us" and "our." We've reached the point where this literally just becomes Tolstoy lecturing at the audience, with Levin and the other characters forgotten.

Do we really need another POV character?

OH GOOD, MORE ANTI-SEMITISM. THANKS RYMER, YOU FUCKING FUCK.