☆ Todd > Recent Status Updates

*SNORT* 🤣

“Before, you could’ve rivaled me for sexiest player in the league, and now you’d be lucky to beat Tripp.”

“Hey,” Tripp whines while I laugh. [...]“Redheads are hot.”

“Not when they’re stealing your soul,” Ezra yells.

**heh**

“Are you seriously still lying there?”

“I am seriously still lying here. Very seriously,” I answer…seriously.

“Well, you are seriously lazy and even more seriously out of shape. And now the word seriously is starting to sound seriously stupid because we’ve said it too many times. Seriously.”

*SNORT*

Since it was his first time, I lubed him up with the lube Tom had given me. Then I stuck my finger in his hole. He moaned. “I thought it would hurt more,” he said.

“That was my finger you butt head.”

“Oh sorry.”

*Awww* [Childhood drawings & daydreams...]

He glanced at the drawings through my notebook. Every single one of them had two boys and a pup. “You never had a dog,” Gabriel said, his voice a little shaky.

“I never had you either,” I said. “These were my wish fulfillments and daydreams.”

*snort* Also, YIKES!

“Maybe I made a mistake,” he said, voice small and frail. “What if…?”

My eyes stung, but I swore to myself I wouldn’t let a tear show. “What if you got the wrong twin?” Venom laced my words. “We’re not that hard to tell apart. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Elle’s got a small birthmark under her left eye and I have a nine-inch dick.”

*snort* Also, YIKES! And congrats on the big dong. 😜

“Maybe I made a mistake,” he said, voice small and frail. “What if…?”

My eyes stung, but I swore to myself I wouldn’t let a tear show. “What if you got the wrong twin?” Venom laced my words. “We’re not that hard to tell apart. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Elle’s got a small birthmark under her left eye and I have a nine-i

*SNORT* [An Adam-less please to stay...]

“Hello, Premier Lodge,” the voice at the other end said. “How can I help you?”

“Hi,” I said brightly. “Is Adam there?”

“No, he --”

“Great. Thanks.” I hung up.

*SNORT*

“You’re hard work, Ray,” he said. “There’s not one thing convenient about you.”

“Okay, ouch.” Now I was offended. I’d heard a variation on that more than once. We had a glare-off.

“How about some hate sex?” Adam said.

*SNORT* [Overbearing mothers...]

I was in the middle of the Spanish Inquisition with my mother. She’d already asked me twenty questions about Quinn, including how we’d met (certainly not a cheap pickup at a bar), what he did for a living (besides stealing people’s T-shirts and dogs), and what my intentions were (to escape her clutches as soon as humanly possible).

*SNORT* [Awww...]

“What my parents, what anyone, thought of my boyfriend wouldn’t matter. If I reckon he’s good enough, that’s all that matters. And Jason?”

“Owen?”

“As my boyfriend, you’re frighteningly wonderful.”

Frighteningly wonderful. “I wish the frightening part would go away.”

“Believe me, so do I.”

“[A]m I freaking out? No. In fact, I’m checking him out.”

“Jerry. Don’t check him out.”

“Why not? I’m secure in my masculinity. I know about things like heteroflexibility and stuff. That boner is enormous and I’m telling you right here and now ain’t no part of me can stretch enough to take it, I don’t care how you do it, but I could…I could touch it. Yeah, I could see me touching it. See what it’s like.”

*HURL* [I. LOATHE. PET. NAMES...]

“Awww, Ruby, I’m so not teasing.” He dipped his head and placed a kiss under Bel’s ear before whispering, a slight hint of gravel in the words, “And I’m quite happy to prove that.”

Here lies Bel, RIP. Cause of death: Frustration.

Wait.

“Ruby?” Bel questioned.

“You’ve got those gorgeous ruby eyes, don’t you? Ruby.”

#CalibreFind&Replace

*GAH* [Feels...]

Bel gave him a charming, shy smile, melting every bone in Nico’s body. “It’s part of the reason why I’m very glad you chose to stay. Thanks.”

“Bel, pull over,” Nico demanded hoarsely.

“Uh…why?”

“Because I have to hug you. It’s going to take a minute, just pull over.”

Bel snorted a laugh, but pulled over. “Are you, oh. Um, you were serious.”

*snort* [The Unwanted Suitor...]

“I have an idea,” I told him. “We’re going to do something about Dylan.”

Sam nodded eagerly. “You’re going to go on a series of dates with him, each more romantic than the last until you realize you can’t spend your life without him and then you bend him over the nearest available surface and stick your princely scepter in his royal carriage?”

*snort* [Justin may have... feelings about this...]

“Dun dun dunnnnn,” Gary breathed. “Next time, on The Househusbands of Verania: will Justin accept the hand of a strange man, or will he chop off the strange man’s head? Tune in next week to find out these answers and more! And by next week, I mean right this second.”

*HAHAHA!* [Feelings, nothing more than feelings...]

“Don’t even get me started on Ryan. He’ll try to be dashing and immaculate and carry Sam toward the closest river to put him out when everyone knows Sam hates getting thrown in rivers when he’s on fire and why do I know that? Because it happens all the godsdamn time.

*GAH!* [Flee!...]

I stared in horror as Gary raised his tail and Kevin stuck his snout right in --

I tugged on Tiggy’s arm. “Sack of potatoes! Oh my gods, sack of potatoes!”

And the half-giant threw me up and over his shoulder. With a triumphant bellow (and the sounds of wet something happening somewhere near us) Tiggy ran from the cave, knocking against Kevin but managing to get us free.

*SNORT* [Of PDA & Dildoes...] 🤣

Maybe that means I put more of a target on my head than I already have.

But with Tripp’s warm, large hand in mine, those people can all go and fuck themselves. Although, seeing the way Tripp took that dildo, I’m beginning to think that isn’t the insult people think it is.

Next time someone tells me to go and fuck myself, I think I’ll give it a try.

*SNORT* [The Sex ™...] 🤣

He claims my mouth again, getting more confident as he stretches and rubs at places I’ve never realized could be so much fun.

My ass is buzzing, and the more he works me open, the more it makes my cock throb.

Like it’s a secret agreement between my ass and my balls. When one of us is having fun, we’re all having fun.

And goddammit, this is fun.

*SNORT* [Logic according to Dex 2.0...] 🤣

My gaze goes unfocused, and I rub my jaw, trying to work out how long it would take for him to get desperate enough to offer for real.

If he did, would I go through with it? It’s always been so easy to be affectionate with him; would that really be any different? I know I’m straight, but Tripp doesn’t count.

*SNORT* [Logic according to Dex...] 🤣

“I think … I think we need to start looking at us from the outside. If we’re ever going to make our relationships work, maybe we need to --” He takes a breath. “-- stop being so possessive of each other.”

“I’m not possessive!”

“Who do I belong to?”

“Me, but --”

He grins. 

“Shut up.”

*FINALLY* [Some decisiveness...]

Len kisses me once, lingers for a minute, then leans away.

It's just like last night. No, it's better – what's up with that? This time I pull him back to me by the front of his shirt. His lips smile under mine. I forget to be embarrassed, or confused, or human. I'm a mouth and hands and a heart that's a beating drum.

*eww* [God, how I hate that tired, over-used phrase...]

Spencer nodded and stood, letting out a breath Aleron hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

#KillItWithFire

*heh* [Hide and seek, Leland-style...]

“I’m coming for you, Leland. I’m naked, so you better look or you’ll miss it,” I call out.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket.

Leland: How DARE you taunt me with your nakedness.

Me: Where are you?

Leland: I’m a whisper in the night. You’ll never find me, you sexy fucker.

*SNORT* [Improvising at a porn shoot gone wrong...]

It’s weird how an arrow to the dick just downs a man so quickly. It was that or the eye since hitting him in the throat felt a bit… redundant and I want to be a man of finesse, not repetition.

*heh* [Awww...]

“The townspeople will be glad to hear you’re doing well. They’ve been worried.”

“Probably because they want petition day to be rescheduled as soon as possible.”

“Not the only reason. They’re calling you King Arek the Brave.”

“Thank the spirits! That’s so much better than King Arek the Kind.”

“I liked King Arek the Kind. There is strength in kindness.”

*GAH!* [On deceased and unloving sets of parents...]

Jonathan shut his eyes and he saw . . . not just his parents. He saw O’Hara’s dad and the half-brother he barely knew. Jonathan’s parents were gone, but O’Hara’s family were too. What did a heartbeat matter when it didn’t beat for you anymore?

Oh, thank fuck. A decent haircut and most of Slade's ugly, gray beard shaved off!

He'll be manscaping before you know it. 😆

*snort* [Yoga...]

“Are you alright with hip adjustments?” he whispered, taking me by surprise.

“Uh. Sure?”

He disappeared, and I felt his slender fingers touch either side of my hips. When a gentle tug, he pulled my ass higher in the air, and it was a confusing mix of feelings.

I also got a much better stretch.

“Don’t forget to breathe,” Azerlyn announced.

*SNORT*

I take it back. The third worst thing is being cornered by Philly fans. Second worst thing is being saved by someone I hate. But the worst thing by far is realizing that for years I’ve thought the tension between Anton and me came from a place of resentment. It turns out it’s because I want to fuck Anton Hayes.

I did not see that coming.