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Entertaining read! Sometimes I wonder how different the world would turn out to be when people feel less ‘alone’

Let’s see if this is worth the hype

The two scenes I’d use to describe the tenets of this book would be: 1) Noa’s epiphany during the stunt his Japanese college girlfriend pulled; and 2) The one of Solomon’s alien registration for Koreans born in Japan after 1952. Quite illuminating how subtle and overt racism against Koreans were demonstrated through these experiences.

What an absurd storyline, I’m enjoying this a lot!
A waitress at a café saw me reading the whole time and even said to me before I left, “You seem to be having a chill time today.” She might have caught me smiling from time to time at these pages

When the two characters talked about what it means to be ‘good’ and ‘bad’ Koreans during the time of Japanese annexation of Korea, it makes me wonder how their lives would unfold when each chose a different end of the spectrum.

Started listening to the audiobook version on the train from Breda to Maastricht. Couldn’t stop listening! The storyline is THAT good

Challenging myself to finish this book before the Mix&Match event tomorrow with honours programme project clients.

Curious to see which of these techniques I’ll apply and the result they yield 🤓

Listening to this while running on the treadmill with an aggressive incline really adds to the intensity of this audiobook’s content.

Catch & Kill is a masterpiece in storytelling and investigative journalism surrounding the #MeToo movement. It made me want to be in the gym longer to continue uncovering all the secret emails, scrapped records, and hushed scandals that lead to the downfall of many powerful men!

When I formed the habit of being punctual, it made me feel powerful. So I want to learn to accelerate habit creation + sustain it even during stressful times. What I learned so far:
- Habit loop = (cue > routine > reward)*craving
- You can change habit by changing routine, retain the rest for familiarity
- Belief sustains habit when things get tough
- Community as a moderator for belief
- Small wins ripples

Key:
- start with org culture: how org treat its customer & employees during low/high stress
- L&D - coach fast > adjust fast > till succeed. not fast firing
- trait & behaviour based hiring
- customer service minute: success stories, tips, challenges
- wow factor: beyond basic expctatn - creative, unexpected ways

Check reading group guide
- use anticipatory - fulfil needs unvoiced, burdensome, undiscovered needs

Key:
- Service starts w/ healthy org culture: assess thru how org treats its employees & customers when stress is low/high
- give customers unexpected happiness
- customer service minute: success stories, tips, challenges
- trait & behaviour based hiring
- wow factor - go beyond their expectations in a creative, unexpected way
- use anticipatory customer service - fulfil need they haven’t voiced or know they need

- Happy rela makes us feel more in control of our happiness. In conflict: self control, envrmnt, prob boundaries

- Who we are convo: draw out multiple identities, put everyone on equal footing, create new groups w/ shared identities

- How convo might go wrong: lump ppl into group they hate & deny group membership

- To make diff convo safer: prime people to think about what might go wrong, and their response plan

First time listening to fiction books as an audiobook. Wow, Andrew Scott did such an amazing job narrating. He made the stories come to life. And it certainly made my ordinary activities like gym and commute more whimsical. I even listened to it before bed. Don’t want it to end.

“For a woman, I think a man is always a stranger. And there’s something awful about being at the mercy of a stranger.”

1. Importance or non verbal cues - assess their 'mood' and 'energy', then match these with theirs (your tone of voice, volume, facial expression, laughter)

2. Conflict consists of surface issue & emotional issue (not wanting a baby vs. spouse prioritise career over family life)

3. In a conflict, prove you’re listening, not waiting for a rebuttal: ask questions, summarise, ask if you got it right.

From the way David describes simple things about Giovanni, clearly he is in love with the person, but hates that from now on his world changed because of it:

“He went to the sink and started washing his faced. He combed his hair. I watched him. He grinned at me in the mirror, looking, suddenly, beautiful and happy. And young - I had never in my life before felt so helpless or so old.”

Ah David 🥺

“I was in a terrible confusion. Sometimes I thought, but this is your life. Stop fighting it…but I am happy. And he loves me. I am safe. Sometimes, when he was not near me, I thought, I will never let him touch me again. When it was over, I lay in the dark and listened to his breathing and dreamed of the touch of hands…which would have the power to crush me and make me whole again.”

Elegant prose, magnetic storytelling. Reminds me of books like The Unbearable Lightness of Being and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

I like to find quotes in the book that sums up its essence. These are perhaps the one:

“Nobody can stay in the garden of Eden..I wonder why.”

“Confusion is a luxury which only the very, very young can possibly afford.”

Effortless Action - accomplish more by trying less.

- Define what ‘done’ looks like: effort < output
- Break down 1st step to concrete actions (complexity is when you bundle first steps. Wrong)
- Just allow rubbish draft, imp to get started
- Establish lower & upper bounds of action: No less than X, no more than Y
- Minimum viable action: only focus on steps that add value. The nonessentials = opp cost

Rid the belief that to overachieve we must overdo. What if hard things can be enjoyable during, not after?

Start w/ the effortless state: physically rested, emotionally unburdened & mentally energised.

- Create rituals: pair activity you don’t like with ones you do

- Let go by asking “What job have I hired this emotion to do?”

- Don’t do more today than you can completely recover from today

Practical! I already tried the image recognition exercise and am having fun with it. Key learnings:

1. AI is already a part of our daily life. Ask, “Does this service personalise, predict, or automate sth for me?”
2. We get the most from AI when we know what it can do and its limits.
3. In the end, humans need to decide what’s actually important and why it matters. AI lacks big picture understanding.

Key to figuring out the ‘what’s this really about’ question is to determine which mindset people use: logic of costs and benefits or logic of similarities

Author also presents questions that elicits real connection: beliefs, values, meaninful experiences that draw out vulnerability.

Reciprocity is also key. Express your own POV.

“Listen closely to what’s said and unsaid, ask the right questions, recognize and match others’ moods, and make our own feelings easy for others to perceive.”

This quote reminds me of a clip of Sam Altman sharing advice on how students should prepare for the future. His answer is similar to the concept of this book: to figure out what people want and value - which may not be clear during the first convo.

Interesting how even before the ‘disruption’ occurrs, the act of counting time slowly changes the women’s attitude towards their day to day life and purpose of existence in the bunker:

“We had our own tim, which had nothing in common with that of those who kept us locked up; we’d rediscovered the quality of being human.”

While there are other themes to focus on in this book, this quote stood out to me:

“Alone and terrified, anger was my only weapon against the horror”

As the protagonist questioned her existence in the bunker, when she said this, I know the story is about to get more intense. To me, anger is the emotion you can choose to control. You can use it to ignite action instead of choosing to be powerless