Chaos_ensuing > Recent Status Updates

Man if Jonah isn’t a hallucination or something I would fuck the absolute shit outta this dude

Excuse me wtf is smut salon and why haven’t I been invited to one?? Sabrina if you’re reading this can we do a smut salon??

Of course Kennit I’m sure the only reason you’re distressed is because those guys messed up your favorite room at the brothel I’m sure it has nooothing to do with that whore you definitely don’t care about even a little bit. I totally believe you man.

Man it’s a good thing their ship’s been able to levitate this entire time and that they happened to have the cure for death on board or this coulda gone very awry.

Oh my god I’m so tired of all the characters going through the same place, learning the same information we’ve already heard over and over and discovering that their one new friend is evil. What was even the point of splitting them up? They’re more fun together and then we wouldn’t have to hear the same shit repeated a thousand times

Hmm, Sabrina might’ve had the right idea with this series, something about this one is giving me a lot more ick than the last two… what happened to the badass lady pirates of book 2? Why is it all like perverts and rapists and forced marriages now? :/ It’s really taking away from the whimsy and fun, this isn’t the adventure I wanted to see my girls on

Kennit accidentally being a good person is like my favorite thing, he’d seem like such a nice dude sometimes if you didn’t hear his internal dialogue trying not to throw up every time he does something nice

If Althea and Brashen don’t take Paragon I’ll be so disappointed. I bet there’s enough Kyle-haters to pull together a crew, they could do it.

God it’s so funny how Kennit just cannot wrap his mind around the idea that escaped slaves might be genuinely against slavery. Get in the fuckin spirit of things man!! Murder some slavers!! Have some fun for once in your life!! Your crew will like you more for it, stop whining about having to do one thing that’s not completely evil lol, it’s like this is the biggest inconvenience of this man’s life

Kyle makes me wanna get fucking violent holy shit, I haven’t hated a man this much since I had to suffer through Walter White. My only comfort is knowing at least nobody buys into his bullshit.

FUCK Kyle and FUCK Keffria too for being a spineless fucking coward I hope you both walk the fuckin plank

Fuck I’m so devastated I can’t believe Ephron would do this, what a fuckin betrayal fo his daughter and his ship and his whole fuckin crew. If that peg had to go to Kyle it should’ve been through his fuckin chest

Fuck I can’t believe I took a break from this series right before it got to the gladiator stuff. What a fool I was

“What’s your name?” “I murdered it.” Dude how is every woman in this book so badass. I bet she even speaks the murder alphabet 😳

Now we’re talkin, now THIS is a fuckin outlaw. I knew my man Christopher Buehlman wouldn’t let me down 😎

The outlaws inner monologue whenever he thinks about doing something outlaw-ish: I thought about doing something interesting, but I intuited that this would be bad time to do that so I decided to just do the right thing and be a good law-abiding citizen.

Can you interact with one woman without assessing her fuckability please. You’re a hetero dude I get the picture.

I can’t imagine a less interesting direction to have taken this character than a scribe…

I wanna go back to the part about socialist plants

“Untold numbers of bodies swarm the base, fondling the balls of America.”

“He’s giving off some major traumatized vibes” is a hilarious way to describe a kid who just saw his mom get decapitated with a pizza slicer, I gotta say

Man I don’t know how it took em 300 pages to figure this shit out, this really should’ve been Plan A from the start

I genuinely don’t know how things could get worse at this point. They should’ve really done something after the first murder if you ask me, they really shoulda seen this coming

Plants are unironically so much smarter than humans, pretending we’re the dominant species on this planet is a fuckin joke

Aha!! Finally found a part that deviates from the movie, there’s slightly different dialogue about dread pirate Roberts!! In the book he didn’t tell Wesley he was going to kill him every night!!

This may be the most accurately adapted book ever

Honestly as much as I hate millennial humor I gotta say this book is obnoxiously wholesome and hard to stay mad at. It’s grown on me I’ll admit it, who doesn’t fucks with giant nuclear bomb-infused kaijus named after twilight characters.

Whether itll be enough to seduce the summer programmer tho… 🤞🏻

Kinda obsessed with the kaiju lore, I want a full encyclopedia about these Kaijus and their glistening cloacas plz

Reading a book to impress a guy was a mistake

I think I’m ready to get my tubes tied now

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