olive ⭒˚.⋆ ⚔ .ᐟ > Recent Status Updates

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Elinor, bestie, I am thinking and being wretched about it right alongside you, wtffffffff

Emmett saying "my brother" to Edward,,,,,,, close enough, welcome back Aoi Todo 💀

I mean, I always love a car chase with Miss Meyer, but I still remain unconvinced that a car is faster than "hold on tight, spidermonkey."

Same, Jacob, but if you pull stunts you better do that with your full chest. Own up to your crimes, faka.

Larry can't ever catch a singular break with women, and that's the true core of Ace Attorney, I rather think.

Decidedly a skill issue, but there's been a manga this whole time????? And no one told me??????? I have been rewatching gameplays for years & no one thought to share this information with me????

All that being said, Jacob, what the fuck. You literally just saved Bella from putting herself in suicidal positions to cope with reality. You don't think That Bella is unlikely to lie to you & tell you 'everything is tooooootally safe, that vampire is my friend!' The minute she gets an opportunity to do something life threatening again. Use your brain, my guy. No, you shouldn't be on suicide watch, but MY GUY

Do I see ANY of Jacob's faults, you might wonder, seeing me rage against Edward the way I do.

Why yes, he is often temperamental & jealous & doesn't think Bella knows her own mind. The key difference, here, is that Ed has 100 or so yrs. of experience on Jacob yet acts the same damn way, & !!!!!! Jacob is canonically That Way because Old Man & his Crew keep bringing vampires onto Jacob's ancestral land.

This is how I know it's just Bella hallucinating & not Old Man Bones astral projecting or smth. Because he told her to be happy, with the implication of him desiring her happiness before considerations of himself.

#NotMyEdward; the Edward *I* know would do Olympic Level Mental Gymnastics to delude himself into thinking Bella could never be anything other than OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, DECEMBER, JANUARY without him.

Bella never doubting Edward's morality despite admissions & accounts of violence vs. Bella immediately believing Jacob & the other wolves to have murdered the missing hikers when she knows there is a hungry vampire (potentially 2!) in the area hunting for sport, in the very same woods is rich.

& also her disinclination to believe in the wolf legend vs immediate acceptance of vampirism.... I see you....

This narrative parallel of Edward & Jacob with Bella's Foray Into The Supernatural — Edward actively trying to discourage Bella's questions & curiosity about his Otherness and Jacob begging Bella to play Conspiracy Theory & Guess Literally Anything so he can verify — really just highlights to me how well Bella worked as a character in book 1 & how she So Wholly Does Not function in book 2.

Jacob, bestie, that is not what Bella means, and you know it.

Go for a walk. Go make up with Quill, actually. All of you teens need a wider friend group, not a steadily shrinking one (curtesy of the Cullens, as always).

Bro, all of this Jacob focus has me distraught. He is described so pointedly as an endlessly happy, constant summer-like figure, and to know it will all disappear because of EDWARD'S FAMILY 😑😑😑😑

"I forgot how much I really like Jacob Black."

You mean when old man man bones is gone & you're not under musty dusty's glamour, you actually enjoy the company of friends? It's almost like vampires socially isolating you from all support networks is actually a concerning manipulation, hmmmm.

You even had a normal conversation with Jessica & then Mike in the previous & current, respective chpts! Unheard of!

Edward knowing how his split from Bella is going to go & premeditating it in excruciating detail is DIABOLICAL; & then bro takes back her birthday presents & destroys personal mementos? Old man bones is pissing me OFF; you can never convince me any of this is necessary. With a mere TENTH of his life experience I can concoct at least three alternatives that don't involve jeopardizing Bella's livelihood & wellbeing.

Mike Newton continuously catching strays; someone free him.

Marianne and Elinor talking about Edward really is the Regency equivalent of Lindsay and I (respectively) talking in our dms.

Okay, okay. The cheesy phonecall resolution got me. BUT ONLY because their M.O. is communicating nontraditionally & Leon has a decent explanation that doesn't make it feel contrived.

I know theyre probably miffed to be interrupted in the middle of their smut but Tiffy, Leon, I'm at work, bro. Can you guys fade to black next time.

Leon is lucky his story is the more interesting to me because his narration style is a slog to get through, even as I admit that yeah, its in character. Tiffy is, I hate to say it, often annoying, but I do have immense sympathy for her and enjoy some aspects of her personality. The side characters really are doing the most yo keep me entertained.

Immediately sucked in; I should never doubt a recommendation from my sister 😤😤😤.

What do you mean she didn't ask about moving things in????

I know its quite literally The Story but I'm annoyed by how hard they're selling Leon's girlfriend as every negative girlfriend stereotype. Overbearing? Pushy with commitment? Comically suspicious of other women? Out of touch with Leon's experience? Mean to other women? Like damn, okay, I get it. She's Not The One™.

But Leon, my guy (& I fully understand this is gonna be his arc) you are passive to your detriment.

Bro, has no one heard of a fold out tatami. A recliner? "Sleeping in the same bed is weird!" Who said she had to use the bed, my guy.

It's end of year clean up, so you know I had to get an audiobook in 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽