olive ⭒˚.⋆ ⚔ .ᐟ’s Reviews > New Moon > Status Update

Emmett saying "my brother" to Edward,,,,,,, close enough, welcome back Aoi Todo 💀

I mean, I always love a car chase with Miss Meyer, but I still remain unconvinced that a car is faster than "hold on tight, spidermonkey."

Same, Jacob, but if you pull stunts you better do that with your full chest. Own up to your crimes, faka.

All that being said, Jacob, what the fuck. You literally just saved Bella from putting herself in suicidal positions to cope with reality. You don't think That Bella is unlikely to lie to you & tell you 'everything is tooooootally safe, that vampire is my friend!' The minute she gets an opportunity to do something life threatening again. Use your brain, my guy. No, you shouldn't be on suicide watch, but MY GUY

Do I see ANY of Jacob's faults, you might wonder, seeing me rage against Edward the way I do.

Why yes, he is often temperamental & jealous & doesn't think Bella knows her own mind. The key difference, here, is that Ed has 100 or so yrs. of experience on Jacob yet acts the same damn way, & !!!!!! Jacob is canonically That Way because Old Man & his Crew keep bringing vampires onto Jacob's ancestral land.

This is how I know it's just Bella hallucinating & not Old Man Bones astral projecting or smth. Because he told her to be happy, with the implication of him desiring her happiness before considerations of himself.

#NotMyEdward; the Edward *I* know would do Olympic Level Mental Gymnastics to delude himself into thinking Bella could never be anything other than OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, DECEMBER, JANUARY without him.

Bella never doubting Edward's morality despite admissions & accounts of violence vs. Bella immediately believing Jacob & the other wolves to have murdered the missing hikers when she knows there is a hungry vampire (potentially 2!) in the area hunting for sport, in the very same woods is rich.

& also her disinclination to believe in the wolf legend vs immediate acceptance of vampirism.... I see you....

Jacob, bestie, that is not what Bella means, and you know it.

Go for a walk. Go make up with Quill, actually. All of you teens need a wider friend group, not a steadily shrinking one (curtesy of the Cullens, as always).

Bro, all of this Jacob focus has me distraught. He is described so pointedly as an endlessly happy, constant summer-like figure, and to know it will all disappear because of EDWARD'S FAMILY 😑😑😑😑

"I forgot how much I really like Jacob Black."

You mean when old man man bones is gone & you're not under musty dusty's glamour, you actually enjoy the company of friends? It's almost like vampires socially isolating you from all support networks is actually a concerning manipulation, hmmmm.

You even had a normal conversation with Jessica & then Mike in the previous & current, respective chpts! Unheard of!