CrowReviewer > Recent Status Updates

Oh Rory a FREAK freak. Telling Six exactly how to choke him out???? and then getting bricked up when she does it????? BUHROOO

This has all the hallmarks of a terrible romantasy YA but it’s… somehow really good actually? How????

i'm so close and yet miss Jane will not shut up about her cousin forcing her to learn """"Hindustani"""??????

Raskolnikov u stupid bitch 😭😭😭

Janeeeee my girllll please stop being humble and self-effacing for one goddamn second and STAND UP. If you prove yourself to be virtuous to the point of self-sabotage ONE MORE TIME I am TURNING THIS CAR AROUND AND DRIVING HOME

Why is this so insane and yet such perfect YA. Caden loves Nicki Minaj??

“I pulled my hood over my head, like the unibomber” WHAT IS HAPPENING

It’s SO BAD guys. However bad you think it is, it’s so much worse 💀💀💀

BAD BOOK CLUB IS BACK, BITCHES!!!!!

Guys let’s be fr am I ever actually going to finish this 😭😭😭
If I hear ONE more random anecdote I am TURNING THIS CAR AROUND

WAY more hard drugs than I expected

This guy swam??? Several miles???? Through choppy seas????? After escaping prison by pretending to be dead so that they’d throw him in the ocean??????? Dantes the man that you are

What if you were a HOT GUY who was about to earn the BIGGEST PROMOTION EVER and also marry a HOT GIRL and then some JEALOUS BITCHES conspired against you and you got WRONGFULLY IMPRISONED and then WENT CRAZY but it was FINE because there was an OLD SMART GUY there who taught you MATH and 5 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES and and and—

Angela Davis your MIND

These noblemen are not only fucking each other’s wives, but each other 😭😭😭

Also I am SURE that Richard and Alec share a certain… profound bond, shall we say.

THE SEQUAL THE SEQUAL THE SEQUAL!!!! i was sick in the head over Immortal Longings and I am READY to be SICKER.

New year new me. I’m the exact same except now I’m worse. Watch out world I’m going to be studying up on all things poetry, pretentious, and political. No one can stop me!!

Howl. Oh my God, Howl. How did I go this long without reading Ginsberg??

local roomba becomes god??

(No, fr—by virtue of a slight malfunction and a devout repairman’s interference, a steam-powered fantasy roomba achieved independent machine sentience. By the standards of the religion that repairman belonged to, that makes it a god. This is not even top ten of the Most Insane Plot Points so far. I love this book lmao)

Girl wants to be the next Robert Jordan so bad but she doesn’t even know that you can’t pen multiple bulls together 😭😭😭
Get the basics of a cattle auction straight before you attempt a “sprawling epic fantasy”, for Christ’s sake. You can’t cover up your ignorance of the basic workings of a sailing ship with excessive metaphors describing people’s ORBS

👍👍👍👍

Kaiisteron gives hottie vibes no further comment

Eugenides just wants to be a malewife to his beloved girlboss sooo bad but everyone else is DYING for him to actually buckle down and do his job 😭😭😭

This mf is so LONG godDAMN!!

This is some bullshit….. if I see the words “little mouse” used to refer to a GROWN ASS WOMAN ONE MORE TIME—

Do NOT drop a random “t’was true” in the MIDDLE of a sentence. I should not have to be saying this in the year of our lord 2024!!

If grace keeps comparing Damon to wounded animals at this extraordinary rate I’m going to start thinking she’s a furry

Also the line “whom was she kidding?” Pisses me off SOOO bad you have no idea

NO buildup, NO yearning, and most of all NO MANNERS!!! JAIL FOR 1000 YEARS!!!

Seriously, is this even supposed to be historical fiction? WHERE is the tortured separation caused by strict social standards??
Who am I kidding lmao this is obviously one thing and one thing only