maria > Recent Status Updates

“I’m starting to resemble a bear more than the wet rat Joe called me last night when I got out of the shower. God forbid a girl walks into her own kitchen with damp hair.”

this perfectly sums up what it’s like to have a younger brother 😭

“Sweetheart. You’re here.”

nothing but tears right now 😭

“Watch the fucking way you speak to the mother of my child.”

is it hot in here? 😩

“My head is here, Reese. My heart too. You’ve got the whole thing.”

send tissues 😭

“She’s pure confidence in the way she holds my face in her hands, kissing me exactly how she wants. Confident in the way she just came over and sat on my lap like a goddamn queen taking her rightful throne.”

emmett montgomery has me SAT 🧎🏻‍♀️

“It’s like I’m watching the start of one of those male revue shows and I’ve got a front-row seat. It feels criminal that I don’t have a bit of cash on me. Will they need to change the age rating of this game on the television networks?”

my icon honestly

“It’s like I’m watching the start of one of those male revue shows and I’ve got a front-row seat. It feels criminal that I don’t have a bit of cash on me. Will they need to change the age rating of this game on the television networks?”

my icon honestly

“She’s confident in her body and my type to a T. It’s the bit of motivation I need to start my next set because, yeah, she’s my type. I lift heavy for a reason.”

baseball daddy 2.0 😩

“You’re my sunshine.”

i think my heart just exploded 🫠

“His fingertip dips around my shoulder blade, then loops down my spine, and I’m pretty sure he’s writing his name.”

garrett is officially my favorite 🥹

“Adam swirls the straw in his chocolate milk.”

“Carter’s not even looking at me. He’s blowing bubbles in his fucking chocolate milk.”

“If it’s my time to go, at least the dessert was orgasmic.”

hot softie hockey players who drink chocolate milk at brunch 😭 protect them at all costs!!

“The only thing I’m certain about wanting is pizza.”

“The only thing I’m certain about wanting is pizza.”

“It’s safer to have a tight-knit circle, a few people you can trust wholeheartedly, than to recklessly let in anyone who asks, even if it is a little lonely sometimes. Besides, who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got a drawer full of battery-powered ones? Men don’t vibrate, but dildos do.”

no words, just laughter and tears 😂😭

“Poor guy hasn’t figured out that I’m caviar; he can’t afford me no matter how hard he tries.”

a true queen statement 🙂‍↕️

“A fairy tale wrapped in Carhartt.”

“If she weren’t so damn insistent on walking away, she’d be easy to fall for. Easy to defend. Easy to keep.”