Kelly > Recent Status Updates

The scary masked stalker is literally just a guy. And he’s kind of funny.

CALLED IT

What is this Dwight Schrute-ass marriage plot?

Jaw is on the floor. Didn’t expect THAT!

I’m reminded of the time Robert Pattinson told MTV that he wanted his nickname to be Spunk Ransom

CALLED IT!

He’s totally going to be in her room already, isn’t he?

“Or he was simply plucking thoughts straight out of my head.” Well yes, honey. I picked up on that 13 chapters ago

Ok NOW I’m hooked! I love that she stood up to The Guardian in an intelligent and brave way. I’m gonna like this Odessa chick

He definitely reads minds

Is this a Queen Amidala situation? I feel like the Guardian is the real Prince

CRYING!!!!!!

99% sure Madison smoked a fat blunt 30 min before Griffin came over bc she’s chill af

Ok Ellie has been “The Problem” most of the time but this time it’s all Griffin’s fault. It’s absolutely insane to propose to your long distance, long-term situationship who is a known flight risk on the best of days. But right after her best friend’s wedding? Buddy…you did this to yourself.

Thank God for Jack. He just voiced all my feelings about 20 year old Ellie

18 year old Griffin being a bad boyfriend to Katie, I can understand since he was, y’know, 18 and didn’t have a fully developed brain yet. But 29 year old Griffin is a grown man and essentially having an emotional affair with his emotionally unavailable ex and is self-described as “one foot out the door” with his actual girlfriend Madison. Men scare me.

Oh this is just villainous

Baby blue dress!

Dawwwwwwwww

“I protect the family”, whispers Jack as he marionettes Griffin and Ellie in to acting like normal, well-adjusted people.

JUSTICE FOR KATIE

“I’m not in love with this girl but she’s pretty and stable so I should probably ask her out” is precisely the dumbass logic I would associate with a 17-18 year old boy. This is well-written but it’s also PMO 🤣

“Because the best version of you wouldn’t exist without her” again my man Jack being the voice of reason and logic 💯

“The bizarre March blizzard” you know you’re a millennial/Gen Z Texan when you can clock the precise year this happened without further context

Griffin sweetie you have Takotsubo’s and I need you to see a cardiologist

Cornflower blue babyyyyyyy

Baby blue mentioned again!!!!

I would never say Bennett should die in a freak gasoline fight accident. That would be an insane thing to say.