Dylan Whitlock > Recent Status Updates

WTFFF a twist I NEVER would’ve expected

But I thought Odessa saw Kos in the training ring earlier……

WHAT THE FAAAWWKKK

Ok…how much time is passing each time Caspia’s POV comes back?? Just found out she was pregnant and now her daughter has been born?? In two chapters? Meanwhile Odessa’s chapters are barely a day at a time??? I’m so confused

Shifting more from types of feedback to how to apply these mindsets and behavior change strategies.

More examples are being provided for how to navigate feedback conversations, and how to address when you hear and understand the feedback but are not going to take it.

Identity can be a big factor in how we deal with and take feedback. Specifically: growth vs fixed mindset

Thoughts + feelings = story
Wow therapy and this work book are starting to collide. This explains the concept of “storytelling” in a more analytical way (almost)
It’s just nice to recognize this as something I so obviously do and it makes the information more valuable to me

Had to switch to audio 🥲 Punishment for procrastination is $15

“A feedback giver may not be ready or able to acknowledge their contribution to the problem…Rather than trying to force them to admit to and take responsibility for their part in the problem, describe how they could get a better reaction from you.
You're asking them to change, but you're casting it (legitimately) in service of helping you change.”

I really liked this point

Look at the full system rather than the individual

Blame absorbers vs blame shifters (speaks for itself) can be another relationship trigger for why it’s harder to take and give fb to those around us

Feedback from Relationships:

We can be triggered by feedback to those around us or close to us depending on how we view the person or how we feel they treat us.
Relationship triggers can sometimes lead to "switchtracking" where two separate feedback topics are brought up, but you can use "signposting" to separate and address them both. Relationship issues can sometimes lurk underneath the feedback first given

This chapter discussed blindspots:

they are amplified by emotional math, attribution, and impact-intent gap

In order to see ourselves and our blindspots, we need to ask those around us for help (honest mirror)

The MIT Human Dynamics lab developed electronic badges and apps that gathered data on how people interacted with each other throughout the day. It tracked tone, pitch, pace, gestures, and other nonverbal cues. MIT was able to predict successful or unsuccessful interactions/outcomes just using these signals and it has been used to help those with autism see and understand social cues (I found this interesting)

INTERESTING:
Superior Temporal Sulcus (STS) is responsible for interpreting others' voices and words but turns off when we speak! This is thought to be the main reason why we don't hear the tone of our voice the way others do

Blind Spot: something others see about us that we don't see
Blind spots are often behavior or facial expressions/body language

I’m crying too Odessa 🥺

OMIGOD YESSS HES BACK AAAHH

I don’t have much to say bc I’m just speeding through this. OH MY GOD I’m so locked innnn

I’m soooo intrigued by Odessa and Capsia but where the hell is Ransom?! We only see him in chapter one so far :(

wrong spotting vs difference spotting:

wrong spotting (their FB is wrong bc of x,y,z) is much easier to do than stopping and asking why they view ____ the way they do. Difference spotting helps the giver and receiver by understanding each other's perspectives and coming to a conclusion about how they can each do better

FB Data: what we take in to give feedback about, can lead to us just creating labels and delivering it as FB when really it's something we interpreted and filled in the gaps to then deliver as FB.
In these last few pages, I am observing how FB can be non-specific a lot of the time as well as fueled by our observations + past experiences

WHAT IS HAPPENING OMIGOD (in a good way lol)