John Irving > Recent Status Updates

1.65 mi | 31min | listening to: Crucial Conversations

[entry 5]

hot words
- not fact
- avoid & swap w/ facts

confirmation bias

self justifying clever stories
- victim
- villain
- helpless

transform clever -> useful
- clever = incomplete
- tell rest of story
- victors -> actors
- villains -> people
- helpless -> able
- return to original motive

2.71mi | 35min | Listening to: Crucial Conversations

[Entry 4]

Recall:

Emotions
- act or be acted upon
- perceive -> *tell story* -> feel
- control story = control feeling

Stories
- interpret facts
- often irrational
- take a step back to see if accurate
- expand emotional vocab

"Thou, art Lord alone"
- Nehemiah 9:6

2.47mi | 38m 46s | Listening to: Crucial Conversations

[Entry 3]

Summary:

Start with the heart
- look inward
- u r only person u can control

Motives
- ask yourself what your motive REALLY is
- find your motive for self, other, & relationship
- long term
- avoid motive drift
- ask how to approach this motive

Avoid fool's choice
- find the and

"The joy of the Lord is your strength⁠."
- Nehemiah 8:10

3.45mi | 1hr 2m | Listening to: Crucial Conversations

recall:

CC skills

- false dilema: tell truth/lose friend
- avoid
- get all feelings out

Choosing convo

2 mistakes
- choosing easy issue
- " recent issue

3 signs of wrong convo
Emotions escalate
Skeptical
Deja vu

3 skills
1. Unbundle
- Content
- Pattern
- Relationship
- Process
2. Choose problem
3 Simplify

Use bookmarks when new issues come up

"Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible⁠, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives⁠, and your houses."
- Nehemiah 4:14

2.44 mi | 43min | listening to: Crucial Conversations

Entry 1

Recall:

What = CC?
- CC = diff opinions, high stakes, strong emot.
- CC - high impact on life
- longer lag time -> worse impact
- Act out/talk out

3 Paths
- Avoid
- Bad convo
- Good convo

Avoid
- leads 2 act out
- make stuff worse

Bad convo
- fight/flight, emotional reaction

Rest of book = how 2 good convo
- knowing how to CC improve everything

"The God of heaven, he will prosper us; therefore we his servants will arise and build"
- Nehemiah 2:20