Esther Markussen > Recent Status Updates

This just started to give the substance vibes, which means that what where my comforting escapism book, suddenly wheren't so cute anymore😨 It's also giving the Hunger vibes tho, which is one of my favorite vamp films, so I'm not so mad about it

Reading this is like playing of of thoose episode games, it's so shitty, but it's kinda hard to stop once you have started

I think this girl might be in love with both mother and son😆

"She did not know if her gift had come from the lord of light or of darkness, and now, finally finding that she did not care which, she was overcome with an almost indescribable relief, as if a hugw weight, long carried, had slipped from her shoulders"

Siriously underated as a satanic book❤️

So this book define witchcraft as women using their looks to attract men and get what they want. Which I think is a very Masculine view on witchcraft. Rather than dealing with the craft itself. For example using natural resources to create alternative medicine, or use meditative practices to create peace and calmness, all things that I might put underneath the umbrella of witchcraft. I will not be continuing this...

I wasn't bad but I just have sooo much other stuff to read ATM, so I'm putting it on hold. It also didn't catch my interest that much...

Okay So I just read the first chapter. So witches are "conspirering with satan" because they preform miracles higher than the power of men. (Sure or maybe just higher than you can) But when the church preforms miracles its COMPLETELY different, because they only do it if God wants it, through the power of God. Were witches are able to do it at will, through the help of satan. (Is he jealous?)

I don't man it's a lot

There is no deniying her writhing is abselutely beautifull. The conversation she has with her soul, trying to understand why her soul still has faith, still holds on, when she has given up on life's "meaning". Its a beautifull conversation between the minds rationality and the hearts longings and feelings. "Is that not enough to teach you the lesson of Nothing? ... I will keep my one atom of Faith, said my soul"

It is frightening how much reading this is like someone presenting me with a mirror, that highlights the dark parts of my self. Taking Marys superstition and drama aside, there is the same existential anxiety which I know far too well, and the ego that makes one "never go beyond the self"

This story published in 1902 (I believe) is from a time where a young girl like Mary maclane might never have heard of homosexuality, so it is intresting how she describes her love for the "anemone lady". She describes it as something masculine, wishes to be a man and talk of it as a "man-love". It is very clear that theese are not thoughts on gender identity, but heteronormativity making the love of women masculine

(Regarding birds) "Do you suppose they know where they are going? "I'm sure they do "she answered, thinking to comfort him. He regarded her shrewdky, smiled, and shool his head. "Then they are wiser than we""

I like this way of describing death, it's humble compared to the rest of us arrogant people, who think we have the answers, even to things impossible to answer

Consent!? Is it in the room with us? Jacob kissing Bells, without asking, then she gets mad punches him, BREAK HER HAND, and yet he is completly happy with himself, sure that he did a good thing. The delusion, the egotism, the lack of care. UNBELIEVEABLE

January 24th:
It's no wonder the critics deamed her either a genius or a fool, when that is the two only boxes she offer. She proclaims herself a genius many times, and it is somewhat a lack of originality that the positive critics simply choose to agree with this. I think this is an intresting diary, but Maclane was no genius, and neither a fool. She is simple. She worships the devil like God (not a genius idea).

January 22:
This might just be my reading, but essentially I here an argument given by her, that despite all humanities great inventions we are not progressing in terms of happiness. We become more advanced, but not happier as a species. If we do not become happier over time, we don't really progress, and so why then should we believe in God? If we had spiritual guidance we surely would grow happier, right?

January 20th: Mary describing her love for a 12 year older woman. (Her teacher🫢)
Very cute, very gay

I don't believe in rebirth, but it is astonishing to read a diary of a girl, same age as I am now, but written over 1000 years prior to now, and yet it could have been my own. For this reason, if you know me, please don't read it. It is after all a diary. Perhaps the difference between me and her is, that I wouldn't have published it.

Actually I'm only on page 133, but I decided to move to the last two champters, because I had a feeling that Faxneld saved the best for last. And finally a dource that truly livebup to the books name. The story of Mary maclane, which this chapter deals with in detail, is the diary of a 19 year old girl, who praises the devil and devour herself to him. It's giving the satanic bible but if Lavey were a gay teen girl

"Women and men are but souls temporarily incarnated in female or male bodies, and that even in particular lifetime many women are more male than some men and vice versa. It is therefore inappropiate to impose special restrictions of any kind on women" this is pro trans anti-gendernorms statement is argued by Susan E. Gay (yes that's her surname) in 1890! Amazing

Just finished chapter 2 on socialist "satanism".
I think it's intresting how satan was used by different authors as a hero for the working class, (and thus God as a protector or the status quo, and the rich), since this "working class hero" is also a role taken on by Jesus. However were satan was also connected to womens rights (Genesis 3) ...well Jesus... not so much a feminist

So unfortunately Jacob wasn't the first or the only werwolf to imprint on a child. Another pack member just imprinted on a 2 year old, and now Bella is sitting there analyzing this childs feature, and how atractive she is. She is 2! Girl, 2 years old! 😨

Kunne vi ikke bare aftale, at hvis du ikke kan læse den på græsk, så behøver du ikke at læse den? Kombinationen af oversættelse og oldgammel tekst/referencer gør, at jeg forstår 0% af hvad der foregår

A french writer, named Bakunin, argues: "if God is, man is a slave; now man can and must be free; then, God does not exist." He uses this as proof that there is no god, and while it doesn't proof anything, as it's flawed, it still brings on an intresting frame for discussion. Cause in this world he sees there are 2 options: we create slavery upon ourselves to a fictional God. Or God exist and we are slaves by nature.

" (jacob:) But I am a werewolf, he said unwilling, and he is a vampire, he added with obvious revulsion. (Bella:) And I am a virgo! "

Gosh it's amazingly horrible! Absolutely disgustingly bad

The snake in the garden of eden, often being depicted and describes as a female (with female head, sometimes breast) is a slay, and also kind of gay? Weirdly but still

Turns out the first to do satanism was danish, so go us I guess😅

Never thought I would be ecxited about a history book, but I guess it's different when it's about women who are defying patriarcy, religion and being wonderfully weird💕

"I could stand to hurt Jacob; we seeemed to be connected in an odd way"
EWWWWWWW EWWWW....
And innocent me who thought that was a last minute brain slip plot in the last book...
Nope planned from book 2😀✌️ahahaha🤮

Girl what are you doing? Going on about a 1 year age gap, like you didn't just date a 108 year old...

No because why did I stop reading this? Like it's shit, of course, but it's so enjoyable. Bella going like "it would be stupid to encourage hallucinations, BUT his voice..." like girl!? Girl! Come on😂