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Aaaaand everybody is connected actually and no vampire has ever died and also they all are dating too

Queen of the retcon! Antoine is still ALIVE???? And he loves F1. Also this book seems to be shaping up to be a compositional sequel to Queen of the Damned

Sorry not sorry kind of loving the gratuitous but also reflective self references here. Like her novel is famous in genre fiction (true). The cover is faded and it’s considered a part of cheap genre Highschool cliche literature (by some)

Uncle…Lestan….right….and she’s a little orphaned girl…..riiiight….not a certain LESTAT’s usual suspect for adoption AT ALL….also Lestan can fly….and is only there at night…and is incredibly wealthy….ok……..

Whoah whoah whoah we skipped past Lestat being able to vampire nut in a Los Angeles lab WAY TOO FAST

At last. The main characters and plot again, Anne you are cooking with this one

he’s an egotistical lying cheating stalker addict, but at least he’s self aware 😀

Fuck it just play the subway you two

This is so romantic, I’d always heard that it was a foundational piece of lesbian gothic horror and they were not kidding!!!

Vampire Yuri my beloved

“I think your life hasn’t taught you to expect ease” OUCH

“That’s what death speak is, being present. Saying it plain.”

Oh Lestat is pregnant with vampire Rowan Mayfair here I see…

Riiight riiight and they’re slaves to drug traffickers to cook their books and serve them….and one of them helped this happen… and the mom and dad are dead in the freezer but ofc they STILL must call in expert Rowan Mayfair….mmmhmmmmmm

So much has happened…. In 7 years mona is a mother to an alien, her guardian’s husband being the father, and she is now a vampire but also a grandmother and also her (adult from birth) alien baby is dead but also had like 6 (incest rape) babies and now they’ve tracked down this colony of alien descendants using the power of email (via Maharet telling Lestat to get with the digital times). GOD ANNE WTF??????

OH 😀 they’re alien incest adult breastfeeding ancient alien alternate history babies…. Got it…..

ok so not a demon baby….an alien…baby…woman….

Ok Mona we get it. You’ve had a monster baby and you’re a Christian.

<> Lestat your rockstar is showing

WHOA MONA UP

WHOA MERRICK DOWN

So he WAS fucking his twin…..

Damn all the vampires are a victim. Except Manford. He’s just old and weird.

And of course that earlier encounter w Jasmin was a chekov’s gun: or chekov’s baby. yeah Quinn go in the swamp like the OBVIOUS VAMPIRE WARNED YOU NOT TO DO. I’m sure nothing bad will happen

SHES FIFTEEN????? And that didn’t put you off???? AND SHE WILL DIE IF U HAVE SEX WITH HER AND. Oh my GOD. QUINN

This is turning into a Christmas Carol AU where Ebenezer Scrooge is an 18 year old repressed, haunted, effeminate psychic who’s scared to fall asleep because the ghosts of bisexuality have constant quickies with him

oh Anne, so creative and yet the death you chose for the unlikeable deadbeat outsider character was aids. riiiiiight.

You ever mutually jerk off and tongue your doppelgänger in the shower because he’s jealous of your repeated ghost sex with the spirit of your great great grandfather’s horribly murdered mistress?

that awkward moment when having spiritual sex with your invisible doppelgänger makes you realize you’re gay. and also makes you realize everyone else already knows. #beenthere