Dallin Coons > Recent Status Updates

In the end, porn doesn’t cause marriages to divorce. Problems that come up in a marriage or divorce are caused by the people involved in the relationship (including those therapists, pastors, and communities that tell you what’s healthy or not) and their assumptions about sex, communication, privacy, negotiation, and whether each other’s sexuality “belongs” to the other one.

For folks with mental or physical disabilities, masturbation to porn may be a completely healthy and satisfying part of their sexuality if they are socially isolated, as so often happens.

Research on this shows that trying to control someone’s sexuality actually makes them more dissatisfied with their current relationship, decreases their commitment, and increases their interest in pursuing an extramarital relationship. It also increases how much attention the people pay to other attractive people and how well they remember them.

There has been a tremendous amount of panicked hyperbole about porn use, with doomsayers claiming that viewing porn triggers dangerous neurochemical changes in the brain. But research says that it just ain’t so, and the brains of people who are high users of porn look like the brains of people with high libidos, NOT people whose brains have been warped by sex and porn.

Our society is starting to celebrate and empower female sexuality now with Slutwalks and feminist activists embracing their ability to like sex just as much as men. Some of these activists watch porn, and some make porn. Perhaps these women can change the gender battle over porn and sex, from being about control and fear of sex.

My (sex) therapist recommended this book and I don’t give a shit what anybody thinks. Also, the Mormon church is dead wrong about all things sexuality and no sex therapists agree with their stances.

A girl came up to me and asked if she could kiss me. I said no. A guy gave me a tape. I threw it away. A guy gave me a book. I threw it away. A girl gave me her address and asked if I would write her. I told her that I would not. I don’t want anything from anyone.

As long as adults still avoid open discussion of sexuality, teens will inevitably seek information on today’s electronic street corner.

“To me, purity and hypersexualization are flip sides of the same coin. I’d rather girls were taught that their sexual status, regardless of what it is, is not the measure of their personhood, their morality, their worth.”

“Faith. Shit, that’s like standing in a food line that’s so long that you can’t even see the soup kitchen. You just hope the food will be there. If it’s not, you starve but at least your faith was strong. Faith What a concept.”

“Out of loneliness and exhaustion, the unknown quantity picks up a title and a place on the shelf. They’ll have to kill me first. That’s what I’ve come to realize. Ten thousand nights in the grey, wasted desert of alienation and isolation is a joy compared to one filthy minute in their lifeless, Death propelled incineration machine.”

Every day in America, thousands of people appear before a jury of their peers and hope they will be judged fairly, when in reality they are judged by human brains that always perceive the world from a self-interested point of view.

I feel lonely when I’m on my own. But I feel even more lonely when I am in a room full of people. I feel the alienation. Here alone, there is nothing to make a comparison or contrast to.

The alien man waved his arms up and down and noticed that he couldn’t wave in the right language so he stopped.

Forgiveness is the compassion that arises when we’ve brought full presence to the suffering of hurt and wounds.

For practical life at any rate, the chance of salvation is enough. No fact in human nature is more characteristic than its willingness to live on a chance. The existence of the chance makes the difference between a life of which the keynote is resignation and a life of which the keynote is hope.

No two of us have identical difficulties, nor should we be expected to work out identical solutions. Each, from his peculiar angle of observation, takes in a certain sphere of fact and trouble, which each must deal with in a unique manner.

We have grown literally afraid to be poor. We despise any one who elects to be poor in order to simplify and save his inner life. If he does not join the general scramble and pant with the money-making street, we deem him spiritless and lacking ambition.

He who acknowledges the imperfectness of his instrument, and makes allowance for it in discussing his observations, is in a much better position for gaining truth than if he claimed his instrument to be infallible…what command over truth would this kind of theology really lose if, instead of absolute certainty, she only claimed reasonable probability of her conclusions?