René Rio > Recent Status Updates

"I always found Elvis a trifle gay," Mr. Ludlum said in a ruminative tone.

some highlights so far:

- My stomach dropped; my testicles seemed to rise up to meet it.
- His balls are drawn up, tight as walnuts.
- Why else would someone have buried her behind a deserted gas station somewhere north of hoot and south of holler?*
- He goes back to the first chair, skinny penis swinging like a pendulum, and sits down.

* this phrase IMMEDIATELY claimed real estate in my daily lexicon

oh britney sweetie get behind me

"Fluent in English, Kleist favored cursing to make her point promptly because, she explained, her feelings ran hot, thus she had no time for the tame and the fatuous, the anemic and half-assed emotions [...]" girl me the fuck too

on first starting: man this is really rambling and repetitive, i don't know if i can do this for a whole book
me after bro writes 10 unbroken pages about coffee after drinking the entire contents of a french press: Ohhhhhhhhh ok 👍

i would love for mr hawthorne to stop waxing poetic about womanhood (????) and get back to whatever lowkey homoerotic shit was happening with chillingworth and dimmesdale. ahahaa confess your sins to me bro i won't tell 🤭😝

GIRL GET HIMMM

thoughts so far:
1. lizzie is like a truffle hog for hot goss and i respect her game
2. mr. bennet may be the only true idgafer on earth? my people are looking into it
3. kate beaton was right about everything

now that the mcs are finally porking i am really and truly regretting my decision to listen to the Fully Voice Acted (With Music & Sound Effects) audiobook

rebecca yarros loves the vampire diaries without a hint of irony. i just know it.

you guys have DRAGONS and you're worried about your enemies having GRYPHONS???? BE SO FOR REAL

STEPHEN!!!!!!! STEPHEN. STEPHEN.

y'all like this shit huh

can you guys fuck off . my girl is trying to nut

"your heroes were devils" SAY THATTT but also oh my god irvin get behind me

things are finally happening but not really

frowns audibly

voyne is clearly meant to be lesbian bait but her characterization is so banal that she may as well be a shutterstock image personified 😭🤚

only 5% in and starling's gross overuse of line breaks and sentence fragments is tapdancing on my nerves. i'm gonna snatch that damn enter key from u girl

let's fucking goooooo 2025 is the year of vampire lit 😤