Bobby Ingram > Recent Status Updates

Another banger, this book

Daily Death AND Vimes!!!:
GOOD MORNING.
Vimes blinked. A tall dark robed figure was now sitting in the boat.
‘Are you Death?’
IT’S THE SCYTHE, ISN’T IT? PEOPLE ALWAYS NOTICE THE SCYTHE.
‘I’m going to die?’
POSSIBLY.
‘Possibly? You turn up when people are possibly going to die?’
OH, YES. IT’S QUITE THE NEW THING. IT’S BECAUSE OF THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE.
‘What’s that?’
I’M NOT SURE.

Daily Vimes:
Inigo looked down. He swallowed. Vimes had a knife, too. ‘You really are no gentleman, then,’ he said.
‘Make a sudden move and neither are you,’ said Vimes. ‘And now it appears that we have reached what Sergeant Colon persists in referring to as an imp arse.’
‘I assure you I will not kill you,’ said Inigo.
‘I know that,’ said Vimes. ‘But will you try?’

Daily Gaspode:
‘So? When she’s human-shaped she’s just like a human. And what’s that got to do with anything? Humans don’t like werewolves. Wolves don’t like werewolves. People don’t like wolves that can think like people, an’ people don’t like people who can act like wolves. Which just shows you that people are the same everywhere,’ said Gaspode. He assessed this sentence and added, ‘Even when they’re wolves.’

Looking like more vampires? I'm down.

Daily Detritus:
'There’s still wars with trolls up near the Hub, I hear. Tact and diplomacy will be called for.’
‘You have come to der right troll for dat, sir,’ said Detritus.
‘You did push that man through that wall last week, Detritus.’
‘It was done with tact, sir. Quite a fin wall.’

Pratchett vamps while also in the middle of D20 doing a vamp season. What a time to be alive.

Daily Granny & Death:
‘Am I dyin’?’
YES.
‘Will I die?’
YES.
Granny thought this over.
‘But from your point of view, everyone is dying and everyone will die, right?’
YES.
‘So you aren’t actually bein’ a lot of help, strictly speakin’.’
I’M SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED THE TRUTH. PERHAPS YOU WERE EXPECTING JELLY AND ICE CREAM?

This one has been very fun so far.

Daily Vampires:
‘That’s just a fashion item! Oh, I know she says she’s partial to a drop of port, but really it’s just blood in the glass. Henry actually brought a bottle to a party and she fainted at the smell!’
‘Henry?’ said the Countess.
Lacrimosa looked down sulkily. ‘Graven Gierachi,’ she said.
‘The one who grows his hair short and pretends he’s an accountant,’ said Vlad.

My friends, I am going to LOVE reading about Granny fucking these vampyres up:

‘Granny Weatherwax is going to hear about this, and you’ll wish you’d never been born . . . or un-born or re-born or whatever you are!’
‘We look forward to meeting her,’ said the Count calmly. ‘But here we are, and I don’t seem to see this famous lady with us. Perhaps you should go and fetch her? You could take your friends'

Granny vs. Vampires? Yes, please

Daily Death:
‘Your money,’ said the highwayman, ‘or your life. Which part of this don’t you understand?’
OH, I SEE. WELL, I HAVE A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY.
A couple of coins landed on the frosty road. The highwayman scrabbled for them but could not pick them up, a fact that only added to his annoyance.
‘It’s your life, then!’
The mounted figure shook its head. I THINK NOT. I REALLY DO.

Daily Death:
And I must say it’s a bit much of you to come here and gloat and eat prawns at me.’
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
‘Just because I’m being hanged in the morning, I mean.’
ARE YOU? THEN I SHALL LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING HOW YOU ESCAPED. I’M DUE TO MEET A MAN IN . . . IN . . . Death’s eyesockets glowed as he interrogated his memory. AH, YES . . . INSIDE A CROCODILE. SEVERAL HUNDRED MILES AWAY, I BELIEVE.

Daily Death:
And I must say it’s a bit much of you to come here and gloat and eat prawns at me.’
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
‘Just because I’m being hanged in the morning, I mean.’
ARE YOU? THEN I SHALL LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING HOW YOU ESCAPED. I’M DUE TO MEET A MAN IN . . . IN . . . Death’s eyesockets glowed as he interrogated his memory. AH, YES . . . INSIDE A CROCODILE. SEVERAL HUNDRED MILES AWAY, I BELIEVE.

Daily Footnote:

Again, when people like Mrs Whitlow use ["savages"] they are not, for some inexplicable reason, trying to suggest that the subjects have a rich oral tradition, a complex system of tribal rights and a deep respect for the spirits of their ancestors. They are implying the kind of behaviour more generally associated, oddly enough, with people wearing a full suit of clothes, often with the same insignia.

Daily Rincewind:

‘Haven’t you noticed that by running away you end up in more trouble?’
‘Yes, but, you see, you can run away from that, too,’ said Rincewind. ‘That’s the beauty of the system. Dead is only for once, but running away is for ever.’
‘Ah, but it is said that a coward dies a thousand deaths, while a hero dies only one.’
‘Yes, but it’s the important one.’

Daily Terry:
He hated weapons, and not just because they’d so often been aimed at him. People shot you instantly if they thought you were going to shoot them. But if you were unarmed, they often stopped to talk. Admittedly, they tended to say things like, ‘You’ll never guess what we’re going to do to you, pal,’ but that took time. And Rincewind could do a lot with a few seconds. He could use them to live longer in.

Daily Pratchett:

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Metres, the Mile, the Marathon – he’d run them all. Later, when he’d learned with some surprise what the word actually meant, he’d been equally certain he wasn’t one. He was a person who divided the world quite simply into people who were trying to kill him and people who weren’t.

Struggling to find time time to read with so much going on to cover, but happy to be slowly back at it.

Daily Pratchett:

Unfortunately, like many people who are instinctively bad at something, the Archchancellor prided himself on how good at it he was. Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.

I have nothing more insightful to add than he is so good and this book is so good

Daily Pratchett:
‘A man on a horse came and said we must fight the foreign dogs—’
‘That’s us, sir,’ said Carrot helpfully.
‘—because you have stolen an island that is under the sea. But what is that to us? We know no harm of you foreign devils, but the men who oil their beards in Al-Khali we do not like. So we send him back.’

Almost surely gonna've been very wrong about what's really going on.

Daily Pratchett:
But what else had anyone expected? He’d done his duty. He’d brought back heaps of spoils, lots of captives and, almost uniquely among Ankh-Morpork’s military leaders, most of his men. Vimes suspected that this last fact was one reason why history didn’t approve. There was a suggestion that this was, in some way, not playing fair.

Finally cleared out other work stuff enough to be back on my weekly schedule for Discworld and I'm very excited about it

Daily Vimes:
‘You, sir, are no gentleman,’ said Rust.
‘I knew there was something about me that I liked.’

I think I keep saying it but, fuuuuuck, simultaneously the best and worst time to read Pratchett's thoughts on warmongering and Islamophobia. So good. So on point. So depressing in a "watching 70s George Carlin" kinda way.

Daily Pratchett:
It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are the main thing. If they are on the other side then this is a valuable bonus.

Stop being so timely and relatable, 30-year-old novel!

Daily Pratchett:
‘The Klatchians have been shooting people, Mr Vimes! Unprovoked attack!’
‘Really?’
‘People have been killed!’
‘Who?’
‘I . . . there were . . . everyone knows they’ve been killing people!’ The man’s mental footsteps found safer ground. ‘Who do they think they are, coming over—’

The prince is giving Oberyn vibes

Daily Pratchett:
He never understood what Lord Vetinari was talking about, he had a world view about as complex as that of a concussed duckling and, above all, never really paid attention. This made him an excellent confidant. After all, when you seek advice from someone it’s certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.

Oh, so this one is about empire and war? Prolly won't feel relatable right now at ALL

Daily Vimes:
‘You see, sir,’ he said, ‘I can’t help but think that over there in Klatch a bunch of idiots are doing the same thing. They’re saying to the Seriph “It’s time to sort out those devils in Ankh-Morpork, offendi”. And when a lot of people are running around with weapons and talking daft stuff about war, accidents happen.

Robin Death

Daily Death:
“Couple of chimneys ago we were over that big posh restaurant…”
REALLY? I DON’T REMEMBER.
“And it seemed to me you were down there a bit longer than usual, if you don’t mind me saying so.”
REALLY.
“How exactly were they just quote lying around unquote comma?”
JUST…LYING AROUND. YOU KNOW. RECUMBENT.
“In a kitchen?”
THERE WAS A CERTAIN CULINARINESS ABOUT THE PLACE, I RECALL.

Daily Death:

Death lived in a black world, where nothing was alive and everything was dark and his great library only had dust and cobwebs because he’d created them for effect and there was never any sun in the sky and the air never moved and he had an umbrella stand. And a pair of silver-backed hairbrushes by his bed. He wanted to be something more than just a bony apparition.

Ironically being on a Death book at a busy time is slowing me down because I need proper time set aside for him.


Daily Death:
“What is going on here, whoever you are, is some fine old Hogswatch charity! And who—”
NO, IT’S NOT.
“What? How dare you—”
WERE YOU HERE LAST MONTH? WILL YOU BE HERE NEXT WEEK? NO. BUT TONIGHT YOU WANTED TO FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE. TONIGHT YOU WILL WANT THEM TO SAY: WHAT A GOOD KING HE IS.

I want to believe in an afterlife with DW's kind, compassionate Death

Daily Death:
Death looked down at the shape under the falling snow. Then he set the lifetimer on the air and touched it with a finger. A spark flashed across.
“You ain’t really allowed to do that,” said Albert, feeling wretched.
THE HOGFATHER CAN. THE HOGFATHER GIVES PRESENTS. THERE’S NO BETTER PRESENT THAN A FUTURE.
“Yeah, but—”
ALBERT.

Wizard and Watch appearances sorted. Still on pace to be favorite Discworld story yet

Daily Death:
“Well, you brought some magic into that little life,” said Albert, as the next child was hurried away.
IT’S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather.
“You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?”
YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.

He is perfect <3<3<3

Daily Death:
“She’ll try to find out what this is all about, you know,” said Albert.
OH DEAR.
“Especially after you told her not to.”
YOU THINK SO?
“Yeah,” said Albert.
DEAR ME. I STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HUMANS, DON’T I?
“Oh…I dunno…” said Albert.
OBVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE QUITE WRONG TO INVOLVE A HUMAN IN ALL THIS. THAT IS WHY, YOU WILL RECALL, I CLEARLY FORBADE HER TO TAKE AN INTEREST.

He is perfect <3<3<3

Daily Death:
“She’ll try to find out what this is all about, you know,” said Albert.
OH DEAR.
“Especially after you told her not to.”
YOU THINK SO?
“Yeah,” said Albert.
DEAR ME. I STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HUMANS, DON’T I?
“Oh…I dunno…” said Albert.
OBVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE QUITE WRONG TO INVOLVE A HUMAN IN ALL THIS. THAT IS WHY, YOU WILL RECALL, I CLEARLY FORBADE HER TO TAKE AN INTEREST.

Listen, I'm not complaining about his cameos in all the other DW books, but it's good being back with my favorite big fella <3

Daily Death:
“Er…The priest said that…you know…after you’re dead…it’s like going through a door and on one side of it there’s…He…well, a terrible place…?”
Death looked at his worried, fading face.
THROUGH A DOOR…
“That’s what he said…”
I EXPECT IT DEPENDS ON THE DIRECTION YOU’RE WALKING IN.