Bobby Ingram > Recent Status Updates

I have nothing more insightful to add than he is so good and this book is so good

Daily Pratchett:
‘A man on a horse came and said we must fight the foreign dogs—’
‘That’s us, sir,’ said Carrot helpfully.
‘—because you have stolen an island that is under the sea. But what is that to us? We know no harm of you foreign devils, but the men who oil their beards in Al-Khali we do not like. So we send him back.’

Almost surely gonna've been very wrong about what's really going on.

Daily Pratchett:
But what else had anyone expected? He’d done his duty. He’d brought back heaps of spoils, lots of captives and, almost uniquely among Ankh-Morpork’s military leaders, most of his men. Vimes suspected that this last fact was one reason why history didn’t approve. There was a suggestion that this was, in some way, not playing fair.

Finally cleared out other work stuff enough to be back on my weekly schedule for Discworld and I'm very excited about it

Daily Vimes:
‘You, sir, are no gentleman,’ said Rust.
‘I knew there was something about me that I liked.’

I think I keep saying it but, fuuuuuck, simultaneously the best and worst time to read Pratchett's thoughts on warmongering and Islamophobia. So good. So on point. So depressing in a "watching 70s George Carlin" kinda way.

Daily Pratchett:
It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are the main thing. If they are on the other side then this is a valuable bonus.

Stop being so timely and relatable, 30-year-old novel!

Daily Pratchett:
‘The Klatchians have been shooting people, Mr Vimes! Unprovoked attack!’
‘Really?’
‘People have been killed!’
‘Who?’
‘I . . . there were . . . everyone knows they’ve been killing people!’ The man’s mental footsteps found safer ground. ‘Who do they think they are, coming over—’

The prince is giving Oberyn vibes

Daily Pratchett:
He never understood what Lord Vetinari was talking about, he had a world view about as complex as that of a concussed duckling and, above all, never really paid attention. This made him an excellent confidant. After all, when you seek advice from someone it’s certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.

Oh, so this one is about empire and war? Prolly won't feel relatable right now at ALL

Daily Vimes:
‘You see, sir,’ he said, ‘I can’t help but think that over there in Klatch a bunch of idiots are doing the same thing. They’re saying to the Seriph “It’s time to sort out those devils in Ankh-Morpork, offendi”. And when a lot of people are running around with weapons and talking daft stuff about war, accidents happen.

Robin Death

Daily Death:
“Couple of chimneys ago we were over that big posh restaurant…”
REALLY? I DON’T REMEMBER.
“And it seemed to me you were down there a bit longer than usual, if you don’t mind me saying so.”
REALLY.
“How exactly were they just quote lying around unquote comma?”
JUST…LYING AROUND. YOU KNOW. RECUMBENT.
“In a kitchen?”
THERE WAS A CERTAIN CULINARINESS ABOUT THE PLACE, I RECALL.

Daily Death:

Death lived in a black world, where nothing was alive and everything was dark and his great library only had dust and cobwebs because he’d created them for effect and there was never any sun in the sky and the air never moved and he had an umbrella stand. And a pair of silver-backed hairbrushes by his bed. He wanted to be something more than just a bony apparition.

Ironically being on a Death book at a busy time is slowing me down because I need proper time set aside for him.


Daily Death:
“What is going on here, whoever you are, is some fine old Hogswatch charity! And who—”
NO, IT’S NOT.
“What? How dare you—”
WERE YOU HERE LAST MONTH? WILL YOU BE HERE NEXT WEEK? NO. BUT TONIGHT YOU WANTED TO FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE. TONIGHT YOU WILL WANT THEM TO SAY: WHAT A GOOD KING HE IS.

I want to believe in an afterlife with DW's kind, compassionate Death

Daily Death:
Death looked down at the shape under the falling snow. Then he set the lifetimer on the air and touched it with a finger. A spark flashed across.
“You ain’t really allowed to do that,” said Albert, feeling wretched.
THE HOGFATHER CAN. THE HOGFATHER GIVES PRESENTS. THERE’S NO BETTER PRESENT THAN A FUTURE.
“Yeah, but—”
ALBERT.

Wizard and Watch appearances sorted. Still on pace to be favorite Discworld story yet

Daily Death:
“Well, you brought some magic into that little life,” said Albert, as the next child was hurried away.
IT’S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather.
“You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?”
YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.

He is perfect <3<3<3

Daily Death:
“She’ll try to find out what this is all about, you know,” said Albert.
OH DEAR.
“Especially after you told her not to.”
YOU THINK SO?
“Yeah,” said Albert.
DEAR ME. I STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HUMANS, DON’T I?
“Oh…I dunno…” said Albert.
OBVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE QUITE WRONG TO INVOLVE A HUMAN IN ALL THIS. THAT IS WHY, YOU WILL RECALL, I CLEARLY FORBADE HER TO TAKE AN INTEREST.

He is perfect <3<3<3

Daily Death:
“She’ll try to find out what this is all about, you know,” said Albert.
OH DEAR.
“Especially after you told her not to.”
YOU THINK SO?
“Yeah,” said Albert.
DEAR ME. I STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HUMANS, DON’T I?
“Oh…I dunno…” said Albert.
OBVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE QUITE WRONG TO INVOLVE A HUMAN IN ALL THIS. THAT IS WHY, YOU WILL RECALL, I CLEARLY FORBADE HER TO TAKE AN INTEREST.

Listen, I'm not complaining about his cameos in all the other DW books, but it's good being back with my favorite big fella <3

Daily Death:
“Er…The priest said that…you know…after you’re dead…it’s like going through a door and on one side of it there’s…He…well, a terrible place…?”
Death looked at his worried, fading face.
THROUGH A DOOR…
“That’s what he said…”
I EXPECT IT DEPENDS ON THE DIRECTION YOU’RE WALKING IN.

This is by far the best City Watch writing yet. I loved the prior City Watch appearances immensely.

Daily Watch:

“Oh, gods,” muttered Colon. He could feel the drainpipe with his boot now. But getting a grip would mean there would have to be one long, bottomless moment when he was not exactly holding on to the roof and not exactly holding
on to the drainpipe and in very serious peril of holding on to the ground.

Just a little reading today because I was busy making then stressing that reel.

Daily Pratchett:

The soul of the rat—for anything so similar in so many ways to human beings certainly has a soul—watched gloomily as the figure took its recent
habitation by the tail and towed it away. Then it looked up at the Death of Rats, who appeared a lot more solid now.

“Squeak?” it said.

The Grim Squeaker nodded. SQUEAK.

Back at it after a pause for Euros/Awards/the hell that is my mental health as a BJJ enthusiast

Daily Pratchett:
"What's this, then?"
“His imperial lordship’s bar bill,” said the barman.
“Don’t be daft, no one can drink that much…I’m not payin’!”
“I’m including breakages, mind you.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
The barman pulled a heavy hickory stick from its hiding place under the bar.
“Arms? Legs? Suit yourself,” he said.

This MFer even puns subtly.

Daily Golem, Not-Death despite the CAPS:

YES. MEN AND TROLLS HERE ON EVERY SHIFT, THEY WILL TELL YOU. DURING THE DAY I MUST SLAUGHTER, DRESS, QUARTER, JOINT AND BONE, AND AT NIGHT WITHOUT REST I MUST MAKE SAUSAGES AND BOIL UP THE LIVERS, HEARTS,
TRIPES, KIDNEYS AND CHITTERLING.

“That’s awful,” said Cheery.

The pencil blurred briefly.

CLOSE.

Apparently my Library dropped CloudLibrary support and does not have this in physical form or on Hoopla so, ya know, if anyone has a good recco on other places to borrow ebooks lmk because breaking sequence upsets my ND little brain and I was quite enjoying being back with The Watch

The Pratchett was really Pratchetting in today's section. A solid six or seven page section of non-stop depressingly relevant today bangers on politics and society

Daily Pratchett:
And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.

ACAB(EC)

Daily Vimes:

Vimes had protested that he’d spent too many years trudging the night-time streets to be happy about anyone else wielding a blade anywhere near his neck, but the real reason, the unspoken reason, was that he hated the very idea of the world being divided into the shaved and the shavers. Or those who wore the shiny boots and those who cleaned the mud off them.

Think the chandelier is gonna fall:

“It’s a pretty big one. What’s holding it up?”
“I’m sure they’ve got special ropes and things, Mother."
“Looks a bit dangerous, to my mind.”
“I’m sure it’s absolutely safe, Mother.”
“What do you know about chandeliers?”
“I’m sure people wouldn’t come into the Opera House if there was any chance of a chandelier dropping on their heads, Mother,” said Henry, trying to read his book.

Pratchett's ability to weave multiple plots into each other is so fun to read *contented smile emoji*

Daily Granny Weatherwax:

Granny nodded. “Yes. It’s all neat, isn’t it? It’s a lie.”
“You said last night you saw the whole thing!”
“It’s still a lie. Like the lie about masks.”
“What lie about masks?”
“The way people say they hide faces.”
“They do hide faces,” said Nanny Ogg.
“Only the one on the outside.”

Did I mention mice get their own Death?

Daily Mouse Death:

He could feel his ears growing, and a certain rather embarrassing elongation happening at the base of his spine. He’d spent most of his life in a single-minded activity in dark places, yet even so...

“But I don’t believe in reincarnation!” he protested.

SQUEAK.

And this, Mr. Pounder understood with rodent clarity, meant: reincarnation believes in you.

I forgot how much I'd missed the witches until I was reading them!

Daily Pratchett:

“The Ghost likes to leave little messages,” he said. “There was one by the organ. A scenery painter spotted him and...nearly had an accident.”

The letter inside was on a sheet of the Opera House’s own note paper. In neat, copperplate writing, it said:

Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Aahahaha! BEWARE!!!!!
Yrs sincerely
The Opera Ghost

Opera. Christine. Organ. So, this is gonna be Phantom, and your boy is excited

Daily Granny:

Of course, Granny Weatherwax made a great play of her independence and self-reliance. But the point about that kind of stuff was that you needed someone around to be proudly independent and self-reliant at. People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.

Cannot overstate the glee I glee when reading Pratchett and Death shows up unexpectedly. My guy

Daily Death:

SORRY.

Rincewind froze, both hands clutching his aching foot. He knew only one person with a voice like a cemetery in midwinter.

He tried to hop backwards, and collided with another horse.

RINCEWIND, ISN’T IT? said Death. YES. GOOD EVENING. I DON’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE MET WAR. RINCEWIND, WAR. WAR, RINCEWIND.

Daily Pratchett:

The guards were pretty much like guards as Rincewind had experienced them everywhere. They had exactly the amount of intellect required to hit people and drag them off to the scorpion pit. They were league champions at shouting at people a few inches from their face.

Daily Rincewind:

He was no good at anything else. Wizardry was the only refuge. Well, actually he was no good at wizardry either, but at least he was definitively no good at it. He’d always felt he had a right to exist as a wizard in the same way that you couldn’t do proper maths without the number 0, which wasn’t a number at all but, if it went away, would leave a lot of larger numbers looking bloody stupid.