Kait > Recent Status Updates

Our family is specific because we are specific people. We did not use the blueprint created by someone else and then struggle to fit each of us inside. We create and recreate our family again and again- from the inside of each one of us – out. We will continue to do that forever, so each of us will always have room to grow and grow and still belong. That is what Family is to me: where we are both held and free.

We tried, because it was the right thing to do. Because we thought we should. But Right is not real, and should is a cage. What’s wild is what IS. I hope whatever you do next is born from you and not imposed on you. I hope the rest of your life is your idea. Trust yourself. You know what you know. You have good ideas.

We lived as if Life were less precarious, as if people were better than they are, as if our kids were tougher than I believed them to be, and as if “things generally work themselves out”. And damned if I didn’t start feeling happier. Damned if our children didn’t become braver, kinder, more relaxed. Damned if our life didn’t get more beautiful.

Maybe love is respecting what your people feel, trusting that they know, and believing that they have their own unseen order for their lives, pressing through their own skin. Trusting people is terrifying. Maybe if love is not a little scary and out of our control, then it is not love at all. It is wild to let others be wild

I want to control things because I am afraid and things feel so precarious. And because I love my people and want what’s best for them and feel i have their best interest at heart and therefore know what that is. But we cannot feel, know and imagine for other people. Control is the opposite of love because it leaves no room for trust, and love without trust is not trust at all

Grateful to have found a love that is inviting and kind, Witty and nonjudgmental, a no boundaries type of love

To have fun, I had to climb down from martyrdom Mountain. Had to allow myself one less thing to say about. Had to ask for help. Had to sacrifice some of my moral high ground, perhaps lose a few points in the she who suffers most competition. We are only bitter about other people‘s joy and direct proportion to our commitment to keep joy from ourselves

We must remember: I am the builder, not the Sandcastle that washes away when the tide rises. I am separate in hole, over here, eyes on the horizon, sun on my shoulders, welcoming the tide. Building, rebuilding. Playfully. Lightly. Never changing. Always changing.

The fact that we define ourselves by our roles is what makes us untethered and afraid. Who we are is perpetually being taken from us so we live in fear instead of peace. To live a life of our own, we must answer. What do I love? What makes me come alive? And when do I take the time to fill up with it? Who is the soul beneath all of my roles?

Sometimes my midnight blue mixes with her pearl white & we become sky blue. When we make love, steal a kiss, catch each others eye. Mostly though, we’re separate colors. This is a beautiful thing because we can really see each other. I have decided I want to be in love with a person not a feeling. I want to be found in love, not lost in it. I’d rather exist than disappear. I’m going to be midnight blue forever

It’s true we are terribly lucky. It is also true that we imagined this life before it existed and then we gave up everything for the one in a million chance we might be able to build it together. We did not fall into this world we have now, we made it. I’ll tell you this- “the braver I am, the luckier I get.”

Her body is strong and solid now, not because she wants to be a model, but because the stronger she is the more her team can count on her. She does not consider her body and end in itself, but it means to an end. She uses her body as a tool to help her achieve a goal her mind and heart have set. “Be there for them”

The word humility, derived from the Latin word meaning “ of earth”. To be humble, is to be grounded and knowing who you are. Implies the responsibility to become what you were meant to become – to grow, reach, fully bloom as high and strong and grand as you were created too. It is not honorable for a tree to world and shrink and disappear. It’s not honorable for a woman to either.

We want to be liked and trusted. So we downplay our strengths, dont mention our accomplishments. Do not accept compliments. Discount our opinions. Yield incessantly. We say “ I feel like” instead of” I know”. We ask if our ideas make sense instead of assuming they do. We apologize for everything. Modesty is learned affectation. You don’t want modesty, you want humility. Humility comes from the inside out.

We all want purpose and connection. Tell me what breaks your heart, and I’ll point you toward both. Despair says “the heartbreak is too overwhelming. I am too sad and too small in the world is too big. I cannot do it all so I will do nothing”… courage says “I will not let the fact that I cannot do everything. Keep me from doing what I can.”

The thing that breaks your heart is the very thing you were born to help heal. Every world changes work begins with a broken heart.

Beliefs have nothing to do with objective universal morality and everything to do with each person specific personal one. We can accept and keep the beliefs that serve us and make us feel safe and feel true. But sometimes angry delivers a root beliefs that we don’t want to keep. Sometimes changing our route beliefs can change our lives.

Our beliefs are programmed into us without our knowledge by our culture, community, religion and family. They run our lives. Control our decisions, perspective feelings, and interactions. What we believe we become. There is nothing more important than an earth thing what we believe to be true to ourselves in our world and nothing on earth what we really believe past than examining what makes us angry.

A boundary is the edge of one of our root beliefs about ourselves and the world

With my feelings, especially anxiety and anger, I pay attention to the patterns in my body. Bodies don’t lie. I finally figured out I was angry at myself. He was the one who had strayed, but I was the one who decided day after day to stay married, vulnerable, and angry. I was ignoring what I knew. Instead of repeating, how could he have abandoned me, I needed to ask why do I keep abandoning myself?

Allowing my hard feelings to come and go, stay as long as they need to, I got to know myself. Reward for enduring hard feelings is finding my potential, purpose, and people. I can’t imagine a greater tragedy than remaining forever unknown to myself. Would be the ultimate self amendment. So I’ve become un afraid of my own feelings. I put on my big girl pants and walk through them.

Hard feelings come and go and left me with new information about myself. It was always exactly what I needed to know about myself to take the next step in life with confidence and creativity. Turned out what I needed. Most was inside the one place I’ve been running from my entire life: pain. Everything I needed to know next was inside the discomfort of now.

Feelings or things we have to go through the five stages of grief with. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. then there is an exciting package waiting for us at the door. Sobriety is a decision to stop knowing and blaming away hard feelings and to start answering the door (going through the stages of grief)

I say to my friend “ then I left my family” she stops laughing. Says. “don’t say that. Don’t say things about yourself that aren’t true. You didn’t leave your family. Not for a single moment. You left your marriage. That’s it. That’s what you left. And that’s what you had to leave to create your true family. Don’t ever say I left my family again. Be careful with the stories you tell yourself”

We are also fucked up and so magical. Life is brutal and beautiful. Life is. Brutiful. If you want to get Jaden and numb, watch the news if you want to stay human, read. When trying to understand humanity seek out firsthand accounts

those who claim to speak for God convince you to believe them instead of know your own truth, the small voice inside you– they control you. If they get you to mistrust yourself – to stop feeling, deny, knowing, quit imagining – instead rely only on them, they can get you to act against your own soul, Follow them, vote, condemn, kill for them- all in the name of God who is whispering to you: that is not it

Some of the hardest and most important work of our lives is learning to separate the voices of teachers from wisdom, propaganda from truth, fear from love and in this case: the voices of God’s self appointed representatives from the voice of God herself. When choosing between something you know, and something other people taught you to believe, always choose what you know.