Kait’s Reviews > Untamed > Status Update

Our family is specific because we are specific people. We did not use the blueprint created by someone else and then struggle to fit each of us inside. We create and recreate our family again and again- from the inside of each one of us – out. We will continue to do that forever, so each of us will always have room to grow and grow and still belong. That is what Family is to me: where we are both held and free.

We tried, because it was the right thing to do. Because we thought we should. But Right is not real, and should is a cage. What’s wild is what IS. I hope whatever you do next is born from you and not imposed on you. I hope the rest of your life is your idea. Trust yourself. You know what you know. You have good ideas.

We lived as if Life were less precarious, as if people were better than they are, as if our kids were tougher than I believed them to be, and as if “things generally work themselves out”. And damned if I didn’t start feeling happier. Damned if our children didn’t become braver, kinder, more relaxed. Damned if our life didn’t get more beautiful.

Maybe love is respecting what your people feel, trusting that they know, and believing that they have their own unseen order for their lives, pressing through their own skin. Trusting people is terrifying. Maybe if love is not a little scary and out of our control, then it is not love at all. It is wild to let others be wild

I want to control things because I am afraid and things feel so precarious. And because I love my people and want what’s best for them and feel i have their best interest at heart and therefore know what that is. But we cannot feel, know and imagine for other people. Control is the opposite of love because it leaves no room for trust, and love without trust is not trust at all

Grateful to have found a love that is inviting and kind, Witty and nonjudgmental, a no boundaries type of love

To have fun, I had to climb down from martyrdom Mountain. Had to allow myself one less thing to say about. Had to ask for help. Had to sacrifice some of my moral high ground, perhaps lose a few points in the she who suffers most competition. We are only bitter about other people‘s joy and direct proportion to our commitment to keep joy from ourselves

We must remember: I am the builder, not the Sandcastle that washes away when the tide rises. I am separate in hole, over here, eyes on the horizon, sun on my shoulders, welcoming the tide. Building, rebuilding. Playfully. Lightly. Never changing. Always changing.

The fact that we define ourselves by our roles is what makes us untethered and afraid. Who we are is perpetually being taken from us so we live in fear instead of peace. To live a life of our own, we must answer. What do I love? What makes me come alive? And when do I take the time to fill up with it? Who is the soul beneath all of my roles?

Sometimes my midnight blue mixes with her pearl white & we become sky blue. When we make love, steal a kiss, catch each others eye. Mostly though, we’re separate colors. This is a beautiful thing because we can really see each other. I have decided I want to be in love with a person not a feeling. I want to be found in love, not lost in it. I’d rather exist than disappear. I’m going to be midnight blue forever