Scout Collins > Recent Status Updates

297:
"You've wasted so many years being so consumed with other people, their feelings, their thoughts. Let this be your wake up call: You are in charge. This is a liberation. Isn't it incredible to know others can't affect you? Isn't it liberating to know they can say and do what they want-- they can make fun, doubt, and you can remain unbothered?"

297--
"If you're not where you want to be, the great news is, it's all your fault. The even better news is, the second you decide to, you can change it."

The Mountain Is You does this better. I get her point, I get the idea, take responsibility for yourself, but this phrasing is awful

244: cooking healthy meals, offer therapy, have conversations
"These are all examples where you are making it easier to step back into life. You never know what someone else is going through. You get to choose what kind of friend, loved one or family member you get to be. We've talked a lot about showing up in a way that makes you proud of yourself. When you help someone else, do it without expectation."

243:
"Here are some things you can do [for someone struggling]: drop off dinner, help them clean their apartment, fill their fridge with healthy food, do their laundry, make a playlist of great songs, send them podcast episodes that will give them hope, send them care packages filled with nurturing and thoughtful things, load up photos so in their environment they're reminded of happy memories and people around them"

239--
"You don't get to have someone else fund your life, and then have an attitude when they have an opinion about how you're using their money. Having your parents pay for therapy and then refusing to let them talk to your therapist is a form of gaslighting."

That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard!

239--
"I am shocked at the number of parents asking about adult children who are struggling. Let them struggle. Let them violate the terms of your support. And then, let me cut them off financially."

"As long as you are financially tied to someone else, you can say Let Them all you want, but their money is buying access to your life, whether you like it or not."

(1/2)

235--
"If someone learns they are too weak to face their struggles, they will never experience what is truly possible."

Maybe your daughter needed help? Other than the therapist saying sleep in your own bed? (What kind of help is that? How does that help with her anxiety one iota?)

(2/2)

235--
Author's daughter was very anxious and would want to sleep in bed with her parents.. author let her.. then therapist's plan was to cut that off cold turkey. Daughter was upset.

Author thinks getting her daughter to 'face what she was avoiding' was the right solution even though it made her feel like a monster as her daughter was crying and pleading.

(1/2)

215-216-- Dr. K says to say:
Q1: "how are you feeling about your health right now?
Q2: "So it sounds like... (repeat their answer)"
Q3: "What makes you feel okay about it?"
Q4: "It sounds like you're okay with your health because you've been this way for a long time.
Also-
"How do you feel about that?
"I mean, you're saying you're comfortable. It almost feels a little bit more to me like resignation..."

210: "Focus on yourself, model the behaviour and the positive attitude because it works for you... Be prepared to give it six months or more."

ABC Loop
A: Apologize, ask open-ended questions.
B: Back off, observe their behaviour
C: Celebrate progress while you continue to model the change

209: Use Your Influence
"Model change and make it look easy."
"Stop pressuring them to change."

204-- like a high school essay
How many times have we heard "this theory is effective" ??

"Loving people means you have to meet them where they are. You must learn how to let adults be adults. This is why the Let Them Theory is so effective."

202: whole page about agency, getting people to change, acceptance, pressuring, etc.

151:
"You let others' success paralyze you, leaving you stuck, feeling behind and frustrated. This mindset fuels perfectionism and procrastination, preventing you from taking action to create your own success."

"Let others have their success and leverage it to fuel your own journey. Other people's success is evidence you can do it too."

136:
"Upward comparison - the tendency to measure yourself against people and attributes you think are better than yours. Research shows it destroys your self-esteem."

People rarely engage in downward comparison - looking around and seeing how much better off you are than majority of people in the world

135--
says "any God-given talents like athleticism, perfect pitch, artistic talents" are things that are "fixed" and you will never be able to change your levels in those areas.
I disagree.

"Here's how you know it's fixed. Is there anything you can do in the next 30 seconds to change this? If not, you're never going to be able to change these things."
Uh, no? Change takes time

111--
saying adults act like eight year old kids, get frustrated and "don't have the tools to handle their emotions maturely"...
"The truth is that no one taught you how to do this."
Just because you weren't taught, doesn't mean other people weren't!

106:
When you say Let Them, you make a decision to let people think negative thoughts about you. When you say Let Me, you focus on the one person who's opinion truly matters--yours. You get one wild and precious life, so go live it in a way that makes you proud."

(3/3)

106:
Solution: When you Let Them think what they want, it gives you the freedom to do what you want. When you align your thoughts and actions with your values, you will be proud of yourself. And when you are proud of yourself, you won't care what anyone else thinks.

(2/3)

106:
"Truth: People will have negative opinions about you no matter what you do. It will happen. Let Them. You can't control it. Allowing someone else's opinion to distract or consume you is a waste of your time and energy.

(1/2)

80:
"What if you gave yourself permission to live your life, and you gave other people permission to think whatever they want about it? What if you pour your time and energy into your hobbies, your habits, your happiness? What change would you make if you weren't worried about being judged?"

(3/3)

80:
"Right now, you move through life with other people's opinions as your road map. You take the left or right turn based on what you anticipate other people might think or say, rather than making the turn you want to make. When you navigate your life trying to predict what people are going to think and say about you, you give your power away."

(2/3)

80:
"This fear impacts every aspect of your life. It makes you procrastinate. It makes you doubt yourself. it paralyzes you with perfectionism... It's time to set yourself free and Let Me make the small moves boldly and unapologetically that over time will transform your entire life."

(1/3)

79: When you allow your fear of other people's opinions to stop you from doing what you want, you become a prisoner.

74: "...no matter how big the problem is or how stressful something feels, there's always something you can do through your actions or attitude to make it better."

"The more you tap into that power, the more you'll see all of the ways in which you've been sabotaging your own happiness and giving all your power away"

74--
"Something can always be done. You can make a difference. And if it doesn't matter enough for you to get involved, then stop complaining about it. It just stresses you out. And as you are learning, that's dumb. Talk is cheap. If it really bothers you, dedicate some time and energy to changing it"

70--
"That's on you. And you want to know what else is on you? Your dumb excuses for why you are not looking for another job. You have so much more power than you think."

49: "If you've been secretly hoping someone else would come and rescue you, fix your problems, pay your bills, create a social life, heal your wounds,... it's not going to happen. No one is coming... You are capable of creating anything you want if you are willing to put the time and energy into working for it... Stop trying to control the one thing you can't: other people"

35-- Mel was upset that some of her distant female friends went on a trip together without her... and was confused as to why.. when she says "I hadn't really spent time with them as a group in a long, long time. I had seen them around town, at large gatherings but I hadn't invested in those friendships; and I hadn't planned anything fun or reached out to them either."
Red flag!

18: "Let Them will free you from the burden of trying to manage other people. When you stop obsessing over what other people think, say or do, you finally have the energy to focus on your own life. You stop reacting and start living."