Jasper > Recent Status Updates

everything is just…. convenient. nothing’s really a problem. even the actual problem, wasn’t. she sent a letter and the police were like “lol okay guess we’ll look into it”. and all her clues come from a random cashier who is….? nothing else from her? okay.

“even with a black eye, you are so damn beautiful” cringe.

“what a coincidence that i happen to be who i am! case closed, no need to look further!” you’ve got to be kidding lmao

“she looked downright “sko-lee-tull”. she looked WHAT?! audiobooks are wild sometimes.

did we really need all the description of her breasts from the breast milk? also, you’d think if nina knew what andrew did, she wouldn’t hire millie? unless it was on purpose to get away from him. or as an excuse for an alibi for murdering him.

this is painting nina as the crazy one so it’s probably millie who’s crazy. “he has no idea about my life” waaah i was in jail, let me whine to myself forty more times.

….microwaved frozen chicken nuggets? 90seconds????

forty years ago whaaaaaa

everyone in this book is the absolute worst. also, is Linton Collin from The Secret Garden? Such a weiner.

this book is a humor book, right? it has to be, i can’t tell you how many times the nanny’s lines have made me laugh.

EXCUSE ME. although when they said she was alive i kind of saw that coming.

wtf she really did just run away, this better be a good excuse.