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“He was slim, younger-looking than I expected, and other than the fact he was a goddamned kaiju, he looked mostly like a regular human. He wore the white with golden robes, but they were torn and filthy from his fight with his own penis. The front of the robe was stained red, presumably an added visual display to remind everyone that he’d had his shlong stolen.” Just another day in the dungeon.

Dong Quixote hears about mutual funds for the first time.

Most books are really about people walking from one place to another. Sometimes with horses.

“amilky-eyed firbolg with a mane of flyaway hair and a pelt of white beard”

Giant mythology in D&D is more interesting than you'd think.

A reveal!

The plot thickens!

Sharpnose.

Donkey.

More running through snowy mountains.

I was bored with the, ultimately, repetitive plot. But after a week or so break, it’s delightful to get back to reading it.

“Fog giants.”

“SHE DOESN’T EVEN USE A LITTERBOX, CARL. IT’S HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS.”

“Here, the rubble gave way to pastures lined by walls of stacked boulders, testimonials to a more peaceful time when giants would trade an honest day’s labor for a dinner of three goats.”

“You ever seen an angry, on-fire weasel tossed into a room full of chickens? You catch on fire. You are invulnerable to blunt damage. Then you get really angry and kill every goddamn thing in the room. This is a berserking spell. Don’t cast this inside of a Denny’s. Or anywhere near people you like.”

#JusticeForMongo