Henry Lee > Recent Status Updates

So far this is the best Polish fantasy since that one recurring dream about Izabella Scorupco!

Expected nothing going in. Have to say, it's fucking awesome so far!

The first four chapters were at least a bit entertaining, with all the so-bad-it's-almost-good writing. But after the attempted rape (and the writers' handwaving it off as 'seduction') it's gone rapidly downhill. I guess they just wanted to get this mess over with in a hurry.

"Not with him seducing her while she slept..."

Uhm, I'm no lawyer, but I'm pretty damn sure that's called rape.

"She couldn't wait for him to move on, shift from kisses to caresses and fuck-esses..."

Wow, subtle writing there!

The date is off! The writers really know how to resolve any building tension in an expedient manner.

Aaand -- it's a pissing contest. Literally!

So hedge-Blake has been anally violated with a thermometer, sexually assaulted by Honey's three female normal hedgehogs, and now he has to put up with dr. Caleb Pearson, the very same man who is threatening to perma-cockblock Blake? I can feel a storm coming!

Honey and dr. Pearson have a date. They have a date. THEY HAVE A DATE! Blake ain't gonna be none too happy about this!

Is dr. Pearson going to be cock-blocking poor hedge-Blake? The tension is unbearable! (Look, animal puns!)

I'm guessing Honey's adopting hedge-Blake? What could possibly go wrong?

"[...]heading home for another date with Pam the Palm and her five little friends." Okay, I'll admit that got a laugh out of me.

"She was running away from him again, always running." Yeah, this sounds like a match made in heaven! Or stalker-ish behavior.

'"Yeah," he whispered, eyes zeroing in on his lips. Oh. Oh. No. Just...no.'

Is that supposed to be her inner monologue, the writer's own reaction to the scene, or a mirror of the reader's reaction?

"The man was cruising for a verbal bruising, and Honey was just the one to lay down the law."

This is a goldmine of so-bad-it's-almost-good writing.

Blake is a werehedgehog! A werehedgehog! I shit you not. This is just pure brilliance.

"Honey was surrounded by drunken idiots. A fact that did not amuse bad-boy Blake Carlisle one bit."

This has to be one the worst and best openings ever. So, the female is named Honey (blargh) yet the male gets a surname? And he's a bad-boy? This is gonna be good!

Shut just got real!

Step 1: Lie down
Step 2: Try not to cry
Step 3: Cry a lot

Goddamnit, John Green!