dani > Recent Status Updates

your grandma told you that she used to fuck your grandpa in the car? you know what, let me shut my dumb ass up. her ex probably should’ve come up then.

it’s kinda crazy for her to think her grandma would tell her about her ex that she met before she got married. that’s not your grandpa, why would she tell you about him?

his wife gotta be dead, right?

i hate when people say “i didn’t mean any harm. it was a joke.” after saying the most disrespectful, rude, unfunny shit i’ve ever heard. man, fuck you! i got a bad storm coming if you think i’m not gonna call your ass out.

“you are on a dangerous path”?? — about her weight?? fuck you, unc! now i’m in prison because i can’t let you get away with that.

her uncle gave her dead sister a yacht? bitch, i i wish that was me. not the dead part. well…

anne, a day ago “you wanted to start a nonprofit. what happened?
freddie - 😡
george “you wanted to start a nonprofit, right? do that.”
freddie - 🤔 “the idea landed in his brain like a bomb”

oh my gosh! you needed to hear a man say it?

she is such a pushover. i’m questioning myself though because i’d probably do everything she’s doing because i like helping people.

anne, the love of god, please drop theo now! he is taking advantage of your kindness!

so she went from math to reality tv production? i’m confused.

she used to work at a place called “the posh pussy” and her job title was “chief pussy officer”? i’m not even reaching anymore.

you have marty… and you’re happy? — i am going to grasp at straws this entire book.

no boyfriend necessary? — okay, emma. that’s a crazy thing to tell a girl who’s been with boyfriend for 10 years.

they really fucked up by having knightley call them siblings. i do not ship them. to be fair, i didn’t even ship them as side characters in the elizabeth book. i’m fucked!

oh my gosh. she asked her if she had a significant other. she’s trying to figure out if she’s gay. (i am reaching)

there will never be heterosexual explanation for emma’s fixation on harriet.

i don’t understand why emma is calling him knightley instead of george. it’s very weird.

nepotism 🤷🏾‍♀️ get a whole platform for popping pussy for a rich man. i don’t hold it against you at all. the role didn’t even exist before her so she’s not taking a job from anyone.

is he gonna create a platform at his company for her work?

britta, baby, you fucked the ceo of the company you’re reviewing. your job is fucked! you’re done, babe!

sorry to the main character of this book but claire is getting the job. she is about to take down an entire company for bad business practices while you just had a self love journey. i don’t know what to tell you, babe. 🤷🏾‍♀️

this is so unprofessional but he’s not doing anything weird in person. can’t send him to horny jail for thought crimes.

that was so pathetic. i’m embarrassed for you, girl.

what exactly did mr. collins die from? he was younger that charlotte. he should be like 28/29. goddamn! rest in peace.

i said before that all i could ever give to classics is lesbianism and look this, it’s all been done. i have nothing to give to the classics.

lmao lydia and kitty called the fbi on tristan? that is so funny.

do not fuck in your daddy’s boat, you dirty bitch!

my feelings on this book are so weird because i don’t think i like it but i enjoy how well it follows or changes the story of pride and prejudice.

charlie! finally, i miss you!

i’m sorry. why is darcy telling all of this to george and not charlie? where the fuck is bingley?