Laura > Recent Status Updates

The actual romance better start happening soon because I'm almost at the halfway point and this guy is still in love with this other woman:

"If she didn't leave soon, he would pull her into his arms and never let her go."

Buddy, I am not impressed with you. You better shape up fast or this romance won't be convincing.

I really hope the Hero gets a dressing down at some point, preferably soon, because it's almost at the halfway point and he is nowhere close to being worthy of the heroine.

This guy's a real winner.

Oh my God, he has blue eyes, I get it. Three mentions within two pages of her looking into his "sapphires/bright navy blues/blues" is enough to make me annoyed and comment on it. Next time I read this I might make a running tally from beginning to end, along with all the variations of saying his eyes are blue.

What the fuck is pink pepper and how does this guy happen to know what it smells like?

Dude is so sure that his cock is so big that he'll only ever be able to get the head in for the rest of their lives, yet he plans on getting her pregnant. Does he not know how vaginas work? Does he think the baby will come out even smaller than his apparently ginormous dick? (And this is right after they help a sheep give birth to a lamb that had to come out feet-first. This guy is dumb.)

Not very far in and I have zero sympathy for this dumb heroine. She's been in a relationship with a man for over a decade and they've never had sex and barely kiss? I don't have much brainpower, but even I'm not that stupid.

Dear Authors, I cannot express just how much I despise when the first portion of the synopsis is a quoted review or a mention of whatever awards the book got. I just want to read the description of the book and decide for myself based on that alone. Good for you and all that, but it's obnoxious and you come across as pretentious. I've become so frustrated that I leave the page whenever I see that. Please just stop.

Ok, I think I'm narrowing the problem down to Raini having no personality, Maddox having no personality, the two of them having no real chemistry, and Maddox putting his lair first like it's his child.

Oh wow, that's extremely cringey. I'm embarrassed for these characters and I really shouldn't be.

I remember hating the romance and the general dynamic between the MCs the first time I read this, but I still gave it 3 stars, so I don't know how this re-read will turn out. It could be a rage read or I could end up liking it better the second time around. I'm betting on the first option.

If you're an adult in the modern world under the age of 50 and you seriously call lollipops "suckers"... there's something wrong with you. We just met this heroine and I already hate her because she's in her 20's and she calls lollipops "suckers" repeatedly. Please stop 😭

Oh my God. Even in MM romance, I can't get away from the disturbingly overused words "sensitive nub." I'm going to start a new tag/bookshelf just for that so I can get a tally going of how often I come across it. Is there some unspoken agreement between authors that that particular phrasing is super sexy? It's not ok! 😭

“He stole a car two summers ago.”
I gasp. “He did?!”
Oh, God. My new stepbrother is a criminal.

-I don't know why, but this made me laugh. Yeah, stealing a car is bad, but I guess on the spectrum of bad things people can do, it's so tame, and this chick is reacting like she just heard that he beat up an elderly person.

Why do all these chicks put on a guy's button-up shirt and get back in bed? It's not comfortable and you're getting it wrinkly! If I was a guy and my girlfriend did this, I would be really annoyed no matter how much I liked her.

"One quick pop and then you can go to sleep." -North (Hero)

🙄 So romantic.

“What if someone falls in?” she says.
“That’s called natural selection.”

"I needed a scalding hot shower to reanimate my corpse. It happens."
Same bro

Oh my God. I've read how many books and this is the first time I've thought the word "swoon" about a Hero. Tyrant, take the wheel!

HOLY hell. Now I understand.

He's being more annoying than mysterious.

Oh my God, EVERYONE IS GAY!!!

I wish there was an emoji for a groan. I don't know how I feel about this.

Erik 😭😭😭

"Why, I've never been so disrespected by a manager, anywhere!" -Philippe, the original Karen™

Oh my. Playing the "silent flute" is a new one.

I don't know what it is, but the heroine is already getting on my nerves.

Oh my God, this guy better fucking grovel until his lips fall off from kissing the ground she walks on. You got 100 pages to turn this sinking ship around and convince me that this is a good story.

"Wedgwood-colored eyes" ??? Even if you hadn't just said they were blue eyes a few paragraphs ago, I still wouldn't have known about such an obscure reference to fucking chinaware! For fuck's sake!

Ok, but why would somebody install a walk-in closet "at the far side" of a humongous bathroom?