Greta Yeager > Recent Status Updates

I actually recommend reading this before you bake anything because I was not prepared for the yields on some of these historic recipes
Makes: 18 dozen cookies

I would like to both thank the library for getting another one of these and also apologize to them because I will be keeping this for an entire year

Freaking scurvy, man

“You may be tempted to do _____. Do not do this.”

Everyone who is not Fanny in this book is just TERRIBLE no wonder girl is constantly exhausted and anxious 24/7

Not sure how I feel about Dickens’ prose but those first four chapters are a WILD start to a plot

This book doesn’t have a normal climax; it hits the gas at the halfway point and just goes at full speed until the ending

Elizabeth Gaskell definitely read this

Is this?? My favorite book???

Whoops

”Where there’s life, there’s hope” is having a double appearance in both this and Queen of Attolia right now

”May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks”

That’s from The Hobbit??? My Star Wars nerd self had NO memory of where that was originally from

Listening to the Andy Serkis narration is crazy because he does such an amazing variety of voices and narrator inflection that you forget who it is and then you get to Chapter 5 and it’s Gollum at 1000% in all his disgusting, pathetic glory.

(Reading this again to prep for LOTR trivia)

My last Tolkien read was The Silmarillion, and I think I just got whiplash reading the elves’ introduction in this

Slowly rereading this is a remarkable experience, namely because
1. I find it continually baffling that this was, upon its release in the year 2000, marketed to CHILDREN, and
2. Every other sentence in chapter 11 caused me to put down the book and go slightly insane

I wish I was even half as goal-oriented as this freaking T-Rex

She is on a MISSION and she will not let anything distract her

Do we have a contender for Worst Grandpa in Fiction???

I’m sorry but if somebody offered me an insane amount of money to leave the country without a passport mere minutes after a government agent told me they were being investigated for illegal activity I would IMMEDIATELY call the police

Sorry to all the books I should be reading instead but I need to reread this

I FINALLY opened this book only to remember that I had to first read this moron getting murdered for the 5th time in a row 😤

I guess finally using Gavilar’s POV this time is one way to make sure everyone’s rooting for Szeth this book

The ancestor flashback??? This IS Moana!

“I’ve read of rituals such as this one, practiced by many preindustrial people, marking the passage to manhood. Won’t it feel wonderful to be a man?”
“…I’m forty-three.”

The levels of condescension are INSANE

Also everyone laughing at the historicity of oral tradition which the main character knows is accurate??? Very “Aboriginal eyewitness report of 35,000-year-old volcanic eruption”

Ngl if my coworker was a sentient collection of bugs in the shape of a person I don’t know how cool I could actually be about it

Moana but the island is so active in trying to kill you that you don’t mind a little industrialization

Why are all of my fantasy reads this year so gut-punchingly realistic in very specific yet common tragedies??

”What are you going to do with that ten dollars, Anne? Let’s all go up town and get drunk,” suggested Phil.

This line caught me so off guard that I choked laughing

”Who of us knows anything about chloroforming a cat?” demanded Anne gloomily.
“I do, honey. It’s one of my few — sadly few — useful accomplishments.”

Every line of dialogue from Phil is the most unhinged thing imaginable; she might be the best new character in this book

It’s always freaking tuberculosis

Man I wish you could still invite yourself over to stay at other people’s houses so easily

Imagine your grade’s individual SAT scores being published in the newspaper like this 🫠