Bryan Burton > Recent Status Updates

"What? A cat? You followed a cat here? That's just like in... what do you call it? Alice in the Valley of the Wind?"

LMAO

I want to know more about these government subsidized Flash animations they were airing on Chinese TV in the 2000s. I guess they didn't have Newgrounds.

ah yes, a classic western meal of fries and spaghetti bolognese

phew
that durian lady about made me lose my mind

aha yes so the gargoyles and Bartholomew are basically what I assumed at the start

i swear she's gonna snap a toe off, you honestly need shoes in a fight

Bold idea for a quest, Bartholomew.

i still have so many questions about the drowning.
how many of these do they do a day? not to sympathize with the abbess as a captain of industry, but why just 6 girls for the 6 symbols, could you not do multiples of 6 and make more money?
also i have gargoyle theories.
also also this is romantasy and i'm scared, i think everyone is WAY younger than i was picturing.

woah okay I was not expecting back-to-back romance moments. talk about enemies-to-lovers....

love how Sunny secretly helps everyone, she better get some credit one of these day.
also
#freeBalthazar

Balthazar is my favorite in the crew. He's the third-best necromancer in Europe, after all.

awww :)

sooo that's a problem
at least the cat is back

just reading about academia is enough to drive someone into paranoid delirium

r.f. kuang are you okay?

I miss Hob the horse

I can't believe counterfeit cheese is a real thing

"Does cheese, considered as a living entity, also possess consciousness?"
someone's got to ask the real questions around here

"Radioactive cheese seems key to romance."
another astute observation

if I ever have to skip town I too would like to disappear onto a possibly supernatural moonshine smuggling U-boat in Lake Michigan

okay perhaps I spoke too soon, Harrow is downgraded back to just 'unhinged' for now. but I've got my eye on her.

Dulcinea's secret was not all at what I expected. so many revelations it's stressful.

!!!!!!!!
Holy smokes
Harrow is most definitely a psychopath

these trials are terrifying and I think Harrow might be genuinely unhinged. this cannot end nicely for anybody.

also I don't trust her but if Dulcinea gets murdered next I will be upset.

okay all these characters need to chill. seriously stop being crazy.

this is so much more brutal and disgusting than The Blacktongue Thief. Galva is so serious, makes me realize how much levity Kinch brought as narrator in the other book.

so there was a lot more to the blind cat than I realized

also

the overeager witch that keeps making mistakes could have killed them several times over at this point, thank goodness for that cat

THERE'S A CAT COMPANION
this book just got so much better

I'm reading straight up fantasy what have I become

let's fish in the oceans of hell what could go wrong

none of their bamboozles ever work theres no way this final mission is gonna succeed

this book is nuts. that last scene could have been straight out of Bayonetta.