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I can’t not love you, Nicky. I just can’t. You’re in my soul..."

Jasper laughed. “Even at nine you had a crush on me, didn’t you?”

“That was no crush. It was full-on love. And I wanted to put my mouth on you so badly—somewhere, anywhere. Wiping my spit on you seemed like a viable alternative.”

“Marking me.”

“You still smell so good,” he mumbled and buried his face in Jasper’s neck. “I think that was the last thing I forgot about you. How you smelled. I forgot your voice first, and I cried for days when I realized I couldn’t remember it. And then I forgot the color of your eyes, although that god damn picture in The Atlantic was proof enough I hadn’t forgotten at all. I grieved for you. Like you were dead.”

He touched Nicky’s cheek and slid his fingers against his stubble. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Being with you…it’s like carbonation in my veins. It feels good. Like laughter.”

“I always loved you. I can’t even pretend I loved God more.”

If this longing spread any further he’d be utterly, completely lost. His fall would be inevitable, like the rebelling angels against God.

And I’d fall gladly...

“And I know it’s not gonna happen. Especially tonight, but for some reason, I feel like I have to say I’d give anything to make love to you right now. I want to show you how good it can be when two people care about each other.”

“In the meantime, what you have to remember is, when it comes right down to it, ‘someday’ doesn’t really exist. Because the only day we ever really have is today. So as long as you’re spending today in a way that fulfills you—that makes you happy—that’s all that really matters.”

“Then I guess I’m okay, because right this minute, I’m exactly where I want to be.”

Erick leaned in and kissed him,“So am I.”

“I think I should tell you, it wasn’t just the sex I needed. I needed you. I needed you because I was scared and somehow I knew if I could just get to you, you’d take care of me. That everything would be okay.”

“Well, I can’t promise you everything is going to be okay, but I can promise I will take care of you. Whenever you need me, I’ll be here for you,”

Here, at last, was the heat to warm the heart that had felt cold and dead all week. Here was the easing for the ache that was burning a hole inside him.

"Like it or not, I want you. Which—in case you missed it—means I’m already not who or what I thought I was. So whether I ever get to kiss you or not, it’s not going to matter. I’m still going to have to find a way to deal with who and what I am. And I will. I’m not sure exactly how, right now, but I will deal with it.

“I want you, Erick. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life. In fact, just thinking about making love with you gets me hot enough to melt the chrome off a trailer hitch. And it’s that feeling that’s been holding me back. But it’s not anymore.”

"...I think you and I both know it’s not going to stop at kissing.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Oh, come on, Bo,” Erick chided. “We can’t even hug each other good-bye without getting a hard-on. Hell, I’ve got a hard-on now and all we’re doing is talking about kissing, and unless you happen to be carrying a hammer in your pocket, I’d say you feel the same way.”

“The funny thing is, though,” Bo continued, “knowing I can be so attracted to a guy hasn’t made me curious about what it would be like to be with one, or at least not with just any guy. What I am curious about is what it would be like to be with you ."

He cared about him so much. He was so wise and strong, yet his gentleness touched places inside Bo’s heart he hadn’t even known were there. Everything inside him yearned to be closer to him.

“I care about you too. So why don’t you just shut up for a minute and let me do what I do when I care about someone?”

“Which is…?”

“I hold them when they cry. It’s not a straight thing, it’s a me thing,” he teased. “So work with me, okay?”

This time Erick’s laugh sounded genuine. “Well, if you really feel like you have to, I guess I can live with it.”

This was crazy. He was crazy! Never, not once in his whole life, had Bo ever questioned his sexuality. He’d always been attracted to women. Period! So why, suddenly, was he dreaming things he shouldn’t be dreaming—and thinking things he shouldn’t be thinking—about a guy?

“I don’t know where this is going either. And I wish I could promise you I won’t break your heart, but I can’t. The only thing I do know is that right now, right this minute, this is where I want to be. Here. With you. Everything else is just going to have to be ‘wait and see’.”

“I don’t really believe in much either,” Bo said. “And I don’t know if I buy into the idea that there’s some kind of master plan out there. Much less that we were ‘supposed to meet tonight’. What I do believe is, when all else fails, you need to follow your gut, and right now, my gut is telling me not to let you walk out that door.”

“I have to believe that you and I met for a reason, because there’s no way we can feel this strongly about each other and not have it mean something. And despite the fact that we’re obviously physically attracted to each other, it doesn’t have to be a romantic thing, either. In fact, it would probably be better if it wasn’t."

That no matter how random something seems, there is a plan. Somewhere. And when someone just suddenly appears in your life, out of the blue, that person is there for a reason. They’re there to teach you something, or to help you to grow in some way, and you need to be open to whatever it is that person is there to do.

...because Rule #1 in the Gay Guy’s Handbook to Not Getting Your Heart Broken is ‘don’t fall for a straight guy.’ Period!

“You want to talk about shit outta luck? Try finding out the first girl you’ve been attracted to in a really long time is actually a guy.”

Erick just smiled.

“Kind of like finding out the hottest guy you’ve seen in a long time isn’t gay.”

“Which one is she?”

“The blonde.”

“Dude, they’re all blonde.”

“The one in the pink shirt. The pretty one. With the scarf around her neck.”

Mac burst out laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Dude, that’s not a girl. It’s a guy.”

“What?”

LMAO! It's hilarious!

...something about her intrigued him. Maybe it was simply his reaction to her. He’d never felt such an instant attraction to someone before. As if there was no one in the room but her. And when she threw back her head and laughed, Bo felt his heart begin to race.

“Brendan, what’s wrong? You’re scowling.”

He shrugged. “Just wondering where I fit in. If anywhere. In your life.”

Marc gave his shoulder a playful shove. “You fit into my ass.”

Ha! ;)

“Life is messy though, you know? Sometimes it’s worth it to jump in and get your hands dirty. Happiness and contentment don’t come along very often, so when they do, you need to hold on with everything you’ve got. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but at least you can say you tried.”

Keith yanked emotions from me I’d hidden so well that I’d forgotten what their names were. Unpacking them split my chest open, made my breaths shallow and my throat close.

He stared at me, yet made me feel normal. He made me feel desired; I didn’t want to turn and hide my face.

Gosh ! The body painting "incident" with Wilbur was totally hilarious !

GOSH ! THE LUNACY SCENES....