Emily > Recent Status Updates

.......... DAMMIT brenner

HOT DAMN CALIBAN WE LOVE A BISEXUAL ICON

IF CALIBAN DOESN'T STOP BEING SO DAMNED WONDERFUL I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK
THE SNARK IS KILLING ME

THERE'S ONLY ONE BED
YOU CAN'T DO THIS
MY FANFIC-LOVING ASS KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE THIS IS GOING

i've only had sir caliban for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

"hours passed, like a kidney stone" deAR GOD I'M IN LOVE

i'm in love with caliban already and if anything happens to him i will die

the story hit part 2 and then E X P L O D E D
okay i'm hooked now. you've got me. i'm fully on board, yes.

i'm holding off to see how everything fits into the larger plot, but honestly as it stands it just feels like there are too many characters crammed in here. i can't get a solid picture of any of them past their first impression.

desiree borges is a one-dimensional stereotype and if she doesn't get more fleshed out i'm going to scream it is the year two thousand and eighteen and we don't have to live with generic fanfic characterization cliches anymore

... are they vampires istg

you are WRITING OFF a DESIGNER DRESS because it GOT SOME BLOOD ON IT
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE CLEANERS AND SALVAGE IT
DON'T POUR MONEY DOWN THE DRAIN WHAT THE HELL

please no. please don't set up female characters to be catty to each other. i'm so tired.

oh OF COURSE she just casually throws on a chanel dress bc OF COURSE she's been burdened with designer clothes against her will and it JUST HAPPENS to be the plainest thing she owns right now. i'm. okay.

okay okay okay okay okay that was nice and atmospheric i am here for this yes

first of all, who on earth texts like that? when does this take place? these are not teenagers these texts read like my 50-year-old mom messaging me istg

HEY LISTEN SOLAS CAN GET WRECKED. FELASSAN DID NOTHING WRONG AND I LOVE HIM. THE WORLD HAS MOVED ON, YOU RACIST OLD EGG, AND MY LAVELLAN IS OUT FOR YOUR BLOOD.

YAAAAAASSSS BRIALA

i'm too damn fereldan for this

i literally could not care less about the firing rate of these different guns. this is adding nothing to my reading experience. i reached 20% and that's it i'm out of here goodbye

yes i definitely needed to know exactly WHICH two kinds of gunships you're referencing in a single useless paragraph. that will completely make up for your extreme militaristic bigotry. listen. no. i'm done. i hate every word of this and i'm not having fun

blargh blargh military posturing guns 'Murica more objectification god i'm not gonna make it to the 25% mark i'm THIS close to dnf-ing right now

as everyone knows, if you reference 9/11 you can do whatever you want 8|

L I T E R A L L Y ONE PARAGRAPH LATER and we're hearing all about how gorgeous the token woman for THIS scene is. of course she has red hair and is ready to fight. god i'm so tired.

ohhhhhh good the islamophobia is here. we're trying to fill up our bingo card early here, i see. i think i have to devide at what point this becomes a DNF.

rarr rarr chest pounding 'Murica etc etc

oh gross gross gross gross he's imagining her naked and fantasizing about "peeling her out of that biosuit, one little zipper at a time" gross me out for decades please let one of those rat things kill him i hate this

"she wasn't so cold as to avoid some innocent flirting" ahhhh okay. hmm. i see. so THIS is the road we're going down here. got it. 8|