Ryan Miller’s Reviews > Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage > Status Update
Ryan Miller
is on page 84 of 178
3) Choose empathy: not passive; when they are excited, frustrated, angry, or sad- make eye contact & verbally acknowledge their POV; give grace
Empathy ≠ Agreement
“I see you. I get you. I got you”
4) Pause: easy to react automatically w/o thinking
Trigger -> Pause-> Respond
James 1:19: …be quick to listen, slow to speak, & slow to anger
Dont talk @ frustrating things while discussing frustrating things
— May 04, 2025 06:03PM
Empathy ≠ Agreement
“I see you. I get you. I got you”
4) Pause: easy to react automatically w/o thinking
Trigger -> Pause-> Respond
James 1:19: …be quick to listen, slow to speak, & slow to anger
Dont talk @ frustrating things while discussing frustrating things
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Ryan’s Previous Updates
Ryan Miller
is on page 108 of 178
Isaiah 55:8-11 - God doesn’t think the way we think or work the way we work
We can trust who God is and take seriously how God instructs us to love one another
— May 04, 2025 06:16PM
We can trust who God is and take seriously how God instructs us to love one another
Ryan Miller
is on page 106 of 178
Jon Acuff says STOP OVERTHINKING: when what do you think gets in the way of what you want
Some stmts to reset - what you say to yourself matters because your thoughts ultimately influence your actions
1) today is brand new and tomorrow is too
2) I’ve got a gift worth giving
3) the only person standing in my way is me, and I quit doing that yesterday
— May 04, 2025 06:15PM
Some stmts to reset - what you say to yourself matters because your thoughts ultimately influence your actions
1) today is brand new and tomorrow is too
2) I’ve got a gift worth giving
3) the only person standing in my way is me, and I quit doing that yesterday
Ryan Miller
is on page 104 of 178
5) Love First
PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE = Reflect the love of Jesus
Most compelling purpose of marriage is from Ephesians 5:21 - SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER…
* submitting to one another marriage is like two people racing to the back of the line. Saying to one another, “you go first“, “no you”
Submission ≠ natural, it requires humility
Mutual submission ≠ keep score & not always looking for “fair”
— May 04, 2025 06:11PM
PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE = Reflect the love of Jesus
Most compelling purpose of marriage is from Ephesians 5:21 - SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER…
* submitting to one another marriage is like two people racing to the back of the line. Saying to one another, “you go first“, “no you”
Submission ≠ natural, it requires humility
Mutual submission ≠ keep score & not always looking for “fair”
Ryan Miller
is on page 91 of 178
Be slow to speak:
When I’m triggered, don’t talk. Don’t say anything negative with your words or your face or body language non-verbally.
Some of the biggest regrets in marriage are the things we wish we hadn’t said – you can never unsay something
Saying sorry is great, not needing to say sorry is better
— May 04, 2025 06:06PM
When I’m triggered, don’t talk. Don’t say anything negative with your words or your face or body language non-verbally.
Some of the biggest regrets in marriage are the things we wish we hadn’t said – you can never unsay something
Saying sorry is great, not needing to say sorry is better
Ryan Miller
is on page 55 of 178
5 Intentional Thoughts:
1) remember who I am - don’t listen to negative voice - God says I have infinite value
2) See the best - how I think about her determines how I treat her - make relational deposits; don’t focus on what I don’t like; let go of dumb stuff
Phil 4:8 filter: think about ANYTHING praiseworthy
— May 04, 2025 05:56PM
1) remember who I am - don’t listen to negative voice - God says I have infinite value
2) See the best - how I think about her determines how I treat her - make relational deposits; don’t focus on what I don’t like; let go of dumb stuff
Phil 4:8 filter: think about ANYTHING praiseworthy
