Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder’s Reviews > Man-Eating Typewriter > Status Update
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 69 of 544
‘The boy speaks any English?’ Spinks, the treacle-riahed omi asked as the crispy dawn lento dazzled through the fenêtres.
‘Of sorts. He’s learning,’ explained the Governor. ‘Certainly Raymond is slow for a fifteen-year-old, his brain seems tuned to a lower frequency, but remember this lad was more feral hound than upstanding gentlechild when we rescued him. These words he uses, it’s almost pidgin English...’
— May 24, 2025 08:44AM
‘Of sorts. He’s learning,’ explained the Governor. ‘Certainly Raymond is slow for a fifteen-year-old, his brain seems tuned to a lower frequency, but remember this lad was more feral hound than upstanding gentlechild when we rescued him. These words he uses, it’s almost pidgin English...’
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Alan (on December semi-hiatus)’s Previous Updates
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 536 of 544
Polari is unorthodox to say the least, filled out with bastardised French, German and other Euro lingos. For a precise account of Merchant Navy and Theatreland Polari, Paul Baker has written a number of fabulosa books – and they were indispensable for the writing of this one.
[Footnote under the author's Thank You endnote.]
— Nov 03, 2025 12:32AM
[Footnote under the author's Thank You endnote.]
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 510 of 544
Joan was a fantabulosa role model for my Exterminating Angels – a cross-dressing palone-omi, a bona heretic in sparkly armour, maxi dedicated to a higher being, hellbent on ferricadoozing the anglos, and with an exquisitely high tolerance for pain and suffering – but when I mentioned the similarity to my devotees, the dolls just smiled thinly and tugged on their pouffed-up beehives regardless …
— Nov 03, 2025 12:28AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 437 of 544
Under the innocuous screamline LE QUATRIÈME CHANT, some fungal frog named Jean Schuster – apparently toppermost doggy in the Surrealist grupa after André Breton’s mortification – declared in nix uncertain terms: SURREALISM IS DEAD. ... I savvied it was my duty now to solo-handedly resuscitate the exquisite corpse of Surrealism, to spread its gloriosa disease hither-thither, throttling awake all sceptics ...
— Nov 01, 2025 11:35PM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 418 of 544
The musica was typical anglo twaddle: longwinded fuzztone odysseys chanted by morose wizards, repetitive cosmic caca that may well have sent the donna to sleep anyway had the drogas not got to her first. As we spun each other daffy, she rapidly began to complain of a heavy tet and jelly-lallies, to which I retorted, ‘Come and gulp some aero with me, dear heart.’
— Nov 01, 2025 04:18PM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 356 of 544
Nonchalantly I retorted: ‘I’m nix piglet, comrades. In fact, I’m more bolshy than the lot of you put together. I’m a froggy libertarian, I’m a squatter, an anarchist, an arva-fiend. Je detest all authority! This unfortunate riahdo is no fash statement – only premature baldiness, repulsive as that may be.’
— Oct 29, 2025 09:25AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 335 of 544
Yes, there was a pattern. Emily counted thirty-one rogue bold letters in each chapter, always following this sequence: g, n, i, n, e, t, s, i, l, f, i, t, i, n, i, r, a, e, n, a, t, n, i, r, p, e, m, p, l, e, h. Aside from a few words standing out (nine, nets, fit in, IRA, MP), she was unsure what to make of this stream of nonsense.
[An easy code to figure out 🤣]
— Oct 28, 2025 01:41AM
[An easy code to figure out 🤣]
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 286 of 544
As I paced around the workshop barking gildi orders at my receptive bambinos, I felt like the puppetmaster of some classic rags-to-riches liver – Doc Coppélia, Vic Frankenstein, Stephen Ward, the Prof from PYGMALION – reinvigorating these lost, easily led prole pooves and popsies, injecting them with natty skills and a nova bona education they could use to better themselves in the outside mond …
— Oct 26, 2025 05:26PM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 252 of 544
How did I acquire these clefs, I nelly thee screech? I admit it wasn’t the mostest convulsive or risqué chance encounter of my Surrealist lavvy: I’d clocked the trey-storey latty in an estate agent’s glossy chinka weeks earlier and parkered the property pronto in cash.
— Oct 26, 2025 05:35AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 220 of 544
Quite possibly this was what the rosbifs thought us frogs listened to on our crystal sets: piercing accordion and kishka-curdling garlic-stinkering oompahpahpahpah.
— Oct 23, 2025 06:44AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 201 of 544
Are we all not a pogi bit queer now and then? Is it not more perverse to blockade your multilove impulses only for fear of embarrassment, sneering eaglets or being vadared as somehow outside norm society? ACHTUNG, my dear chovis: to be considered normal is perhaps the coddiest insult of all, is it not?!
— Oct 17, 2025 10:04PM
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Nora
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May 24, 2025 08:58AM
As a mentally disabled person, I strongly take offense at this quote especially during Mental Health Awareness Month.
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Nora wrote: "As a mentally disabled person, I strongly take offense at this quote especially during Mental Health Awareness Month."The quote is from the point of view of narrow-minded authorities in the 1960s when the book is set, so you are correct to take offense. Unless you are asking me to delete it because I didn't provide the context? I choose quotes as markers to flag issues as I go along, this time showing the contrast between Raymond's invented language vs the institutions.
Alan (The Lone Librarian Rides Again) wrote: "Nora wrote: "As a mentally disabled person, I strongly take offense at this quote especially during Mental Health Awareness Month."The quote is from the point of view of narrow-minded authorities..."
Thanks so much for explaining why you have chosen this quote, Alan. Thanks so much for explaining the context of the quote as well. I agree with you that it’s important to include flag issues. Thanks so much for sharing your reasons for sharing this quote.
Nora wrote: "Thanks so much for explaining why you have chosen this quote, Alan. Thanks so much for explaining the context of the quote as well. I agree with you that it’s important to include flag issues. Thanks so much for sharing your reasons for sharing this quote."Thank you for your understanding Nora, and thank you for commenting and requesting the context. This is an experimental prose book written mostly in a sort of underground slang dialect language with various invented words and borrowings. The language is known as Polari.
