JasperKazai’s Reviews > Brutal Asset > Status Update

Not only does Pitcairn have dinner with active students off-campus, but now he's dating his assistant. This dude is a walking lawsuit waiting to happen. Also the fact that he's clearly going to be Chris' friend going forward makes this all so weird. Why have Chris be a student of his?
Anyways. It was ok. I delayed finishing it for a couple of days b/c I realized I hadn't loaded up what I wanted to read next.

Velasquez has been spelled Velasquiz repeatedly throughout this novel. I thought it was the author being dumb and not knowing how that name is spelled, but then it was spelled Velasquez twice in a short span. But then it was back to Velasquiz shortly after. On top of that, arraigned instead of arranged has happened twice again. More proof that this was never proofread (heh). This guy doesn't know how to spell.

I still like the story in a general sense, but it's a continual bummer how inexpertly written it is. It feels like a first pass rough draft that never got improved. So many little ways that things could be improved, and then you'd have a REALLY good story here. There's too many things to list, but chief among them is someone needs to tell this guy that conflict can exist without physical contact every single time.

The professor agrees to have dinner with Chris and three other girl students, which is probably misconduct of some kind. Profs shouldn't be doing that. Then, as they have a conversation, the prof is like 'man we gotta have a private convo sometime, Chris.' Again, this is so cringe.
This author seems incapable of having the plot progress without sudden ambushes. There are other ways to have a story move forward...

It's a big lecture hall class, yet the professor is talking directly to Chris, letting Chris ask questions, maintaining eye contact with Chris, even handing Chris a book to read on his own time but doing this during class in front of everyone. This is so fucking stupid. A lecture class would never go like that. Chris is the main character of the story, but he's not the main character of the world. Cringe as hell

2 times now where he uses the word arraign when he should've used arranged. Those are not interchangeable; they mean completely different things.
The professor degrades Wikipedia but then proceeds to use info off of it. I'm sure this is because the author himself was just using Wikipedia for all of this info, but had to make the prof seem smart.

I don't know much about private schools, but a school that is only K-3 seems like that's not a real thing. That's an odd parcel of time.
If Toni's father is the school principal, then why did she walk to school with Chris? Wouldn't she get a ride from her dad every day?

Attendance is never taken in big lecture classes, because it would take way too fucking long. Then the professor interrogates Chris in front of the entire class as to why he missed the first week. This shit would never happen. At most they would meet after class. And of course the professor offers strawman arguments so Chris can easily disprove him and look cool in front of everyone. This is so goddamn cringey.

Lol, using a Segway. Those things sure went nowhere. This was written in 2011. I wonder if the author actually thought they were going to be big.
Chris takes an entry level college course on religion. He's surprised it's a crowded lecture hall. Does the author not know how college works? The lower/entry level courses are more likely to be big lecture halls, because there are no prereqs, unlike higher courses.

I had a feeling it was going to fucking happen again. For the second book in a row, Chris walks in on some dude kissing Tanya. But this time it was a deliberate misdirect, since the guy turns out to be her uncle. Still, it's so unnecessary. There are so many other ways to introduce conflict other than your girl getting 'stolen,' or the appearance of it. I think this author might have a cuck fetish.