Diana’s Reviews > A Reluctant Roommate > Status Update

Why are FMCs always such idiots? Like wtf?

Nicole sounds like a dick but she’s the smartest one there

“But if you’re looking to impress a woman like that, you need to exude pheromones.”
“What, like stop using deodorant?” I ask”
Gooooosh, pls don’t

“but I like seeing her there. I go to her without really meaning to and pull up that blanket so it’s covering more of her. She makes a low sound in her throat and snuggles in deeper. Then her eyes snap open, and she punches me in the balls, her aim so accurate it’s like she has a homing beacon.”
Ahaahahah… Poor Drew.. oh you poor thing 😂🫣 straight in the plums

“So, what?” I ask, feeling sweat gathering under my collar. “Are you telling me she reads porn?”
Yeah.. Pretty much 😂

“Marnie tells me she’s into romance books. Why don’t you try reading one of them? It’d give you something to talk about.”
“They all have half-naked men on the covers. I don’t want to read about some guy’s rigid sword or cucumber or whatever euphemism they use”
Velvety steel rod 😂

“But we had a conversation about our future one night, and she followed up the next morning by presenting me with a spreadsheet tallying up what we should spend on our wedding. I felt like I was in a business meeting, and it made me twitchy in a way that surprised me”
OUCH

He’s so fucked 🫣😂

Let’s see what kind of a ridiculous thing did Instagram suggest to me this time