b’s Reviews > He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys > Status Update

"How do you know I'll find someone else?" she asked. -
I don't. I just don't see the point in being in a relationship that appears to be damaging and beneath you. You are a really cool, obviously very cute..."

believe that anything is possible. However, my experience has been that most men do not change, and the ones I've seen change only changed when they met new women.

Most of the great things we want in life are intimidating. That's what makes life so darn exciting. Do you really have time for a guy who's so afraid of you that he's not even capable of inviting you for coffee?

I will not
go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
go out with a man who keeps me waiting
date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.
be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.
spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me

If you're in a relationship that you suspect is not good for you, but you're not sure, do this simple exercise: Take out a tape recorder. Tell the story of your relationship into it. Play it out loud. Imagine that your best friend in the whole world is telling you the story instead of you. Would you want better for her?**

some men have a hard time being physically affectionate, but actually not enjoying it? It's difficult to fathom. He may be really into you, but he's certainly not really compatible with you. I say move on, meet someone who enjoys the things you like, and have a long life filled with playful grab-ass.

if on dates he only talks about himself: He's clearly as impressed with himself as you are. I hate to tell you this, but he's not into you; he's into how you look listening to him. When I met my wife, all I wanted to do was ask her questions. How else was I going to know what she was all about? Yes, I wanted to impress her with feats of glory--but because I thought she was the catch.

Forget about him and his good qualities. Forget about all his excuses and what he promises. Ask yourself: Is he making you happy? People are complicated. That's why trying to figure them out is a waste of time. Is he making you happy? Does he make it clear in his actions every day that your happiness is important to him? If the answer is no, cut him loose

You are going to meet many men in many different stages of recovering from relationships. If he is really into you, he will get over his issues fast and make sure he doesn't lose you. Or he will make it clear to you how he feels, so there's no mystery, and tell you up front that he's not up to it right now. And then you can best be sure, the minute he is ready, he will run out and find you.

Here's how you and Ring Finger Fred can handle this situation now: Stop seeing each other; let him figure out his life. If he ends up staying with his wife, then you would have been that girl who was having an affair with the guy who was never planning on leaving his wife. If he does leave his wife, then you can start a life with him not based in shame.