Mona’s Reviews > Say You'll Remember Me > Status Update

She didn’t know who I was or who he was. But she still knew what love was.

“Life is so hard,” I said quietly.
“I don’t even remember a time when it wasn’t,” Jeneva said.

Missing Xavier, grieving Grandma, and taking care of Mom. That was my life.
There was no color in my world. Only the promise of color for visits with Xavier that never seemed to materialize.
I was living now in nothing but gray.

I had no choice but to go home.
Correction. To go to Minnesota.
Because home was where she was. Minnesota was just where I worked now.

And she was right. I did want to collect our memories. Everything I got to do with her was precious to me. I’d never been much for mementos or keepsakes but now all I wanted was to look around me and see evidence of her. I wanted to breathe in and smell her, reach out and touch her, open my eyes and see her. Short of living with her nothing would be enough, but the frame was a start.

You think that it’s the big memories you should be chasing and it is in a way. Birthdays and vacations and special occasions. But the small memories are the fabric of your life, the ones so inconsequential that you don’t even remember them. You just remember how you felt when you were making them.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered.
“I missed you too. My boyfriend.” I smiled.
His face lit up at the word. I had wondered if it had the same kind of magic that girlfriend had for me. I guess it did.

My heart swelled just looking at him.
All worry and doubt I had fell away.
And then I realized. None of the fear and worry I had was because I didn’t think it would work. The fear and worry was because I knew it would.
I was going to fall in love with this man. I was already halfway there.

“I thought about you every minute,” I said. “Even when I wasn’t thinking about you, I was.”

This had to be its own type of hell for him. She was here but she wasn’t. She hadn’t died so he couldn’t stop grieving her or move on. He just had to watch her forget their entire life together. Forget him and forget herself too. The snowball melting at the bottom of the hill.