ivy’s Reviews > Funny Story > Status Update

“And I know I’m not who you pictured yourself with, but I think I could be, eventually. If you’ll let me. So don’t go. Because I don’t want you to. Because you’re my best friend, and I’m in love with you.”


LOVE HIM

“No,” I stammer.
“No?” Miles gives a hoarse laugh. “How is that a response to what I just said? I just told you I love you, Daphne.”
“And I’m telling you no.” I undo my seat belt with trembling hands. “You don’t get to say that to me. You don’t get to disappear, and then show up and buy me fucking fudge and pick me up from work, and tell me you love me—”
“I do love you,” he cries.


MAN

“She just needed to borrow my truck to move some stuff,” Miles says, voice fraying. “And like I said, I got caught up.”
Caught up. There will always be a Petra. Someone more interesting, someone more fun, someone who needs less, or offers more.

im in actual tears

He looks over, the engine starting with a sputtering cough. “Do me a favor,” he says lightly, “and unlock your door.”
“Why?”
“So I can push you out as I peel out of this parking lot,” he says.
“You would never,” I say.
“I would never,” he admits, and pulls onto the road. He turns us away from town and the water, toward the countryside.


i think im in love

“Yeah, well,” I say, “I thought about taking a video of myself giving you a lap dance, but I don’t have anything to mount your phone on, so this was the next best thing.”
“I will happily go back into the woods, find some sticks, and build you a tripod, Daphne,” he says.


LOVE HIM

“That’s no problem,” Miles says, pouring a taste of white wine for each of us. “All we have to do is get married, and then stay together until they split up. And if they have kids, just have one more than them. If they get a dog, we get a cuter dog. If they buy a new house, we get a mansion.”

#ilovemiles