ivy’s Reviews > Funny Story > Status Update
ivy
is 83% done
“No,” I stammer.
“No?” Miles gives a hoarse laugh. “How is that a response to what I just said? I just told you I love you, Daphne.”
“And I’m telling you no.” I undo my seat belt with trembling hands. “You don’t get to say that to me. You don’t get to disappear, and then show up and buy me fucking fudge and pick me up from work, and tell me you love me—”
“I do love you,” he cries.
MAN
— Aug 11, 2025 05:56PM
“No?” Miles gives a hoarse laugh. “How is that a response to what I just said? I just told you I love you, Daphne.”
“And I’m telling you no.” I undo my seat belt with trembling hands. “You don’t get to say that to me. You don’t get to disappear, and then show up and buy me fucking fudge and pick me up from work, and tell me you love me—”
“I do love you,” he cries.
MAN
Like flag
ivy’s Previous Updates
ivy
is 95% done
“And I know I’m not who you pictured yourself with, but I think I could be, eventually. If you’ll let me. So don’t go. Because I don’t want you to. Because you’re my best friend, and I’m in love with you.”
LOVE HIM
— Aug 11, 2025 06:37PM
LOVE HIM
ivy
is 83% done
“She just needed to borrow my truck to move some stuff,” Miles says, voice fraying. “And like I said, I got caught up.”
Caught up. There will always be a Petra. Someone more interesting, someone more fun, someone who needs less, or offers more.
im in actual tears
— Aug 11, 2025 05:54PM
Caught up. There will always be a Petra. Someone more interesting, someone more fun, someone who needs less, or offers more.
im in actual tears
ivy
is 45% done
I brush my fingers over the condensation on the outside of his beer bottle, then smudge the mark out of his skin. “Can’t take you anywhere.”
He leans in so I can hear him. “If I had a beard,” he shouts, “this never would’ve happened.”
“You could be in the ghost-face mask from Scream and this would still happen,” I say.
DEAD
— Aug 11, 2025 11:55AM
He leans in so I can hear him. “If I had a beard,” he shouts, “this never would’ve happened.”
“You could be in the ghost-face mask from Scream and this would still happen,” I say.
DEAD
ivy
is 28% done
He looks over, the engine starting with a sputtering cough. “Do me a favor,” he says lightly, “and unlock your door.”
“Why?”
“So I can push you out as I peel out of this parking lot,” he says.
“You would never,” I say.
“I would never,” he admits, and pulls onto the road. He turns us away from town and the water, toward the countryside.
i think im in love
— Aug 11, 2025 08:29AM
“Why?”
“So I can push you out as I peel out of this parking lot,” he says.
“You would never,” I say.
“I would never,” he admits, and pulls onto the road. He turns us away from town and the water, toward the countryside.
i think im in love
ivy
is 25% done
“Yeah, well,” I say, “I thought about taking a video of myself giving you a lap dance, but I don’t have anything to mount your phone on, so this was the next best thing.”
“I will happily go back into the woods, find some sticks, and build you a tripod, Daphne,” he says.
LOVE HIM
— Aug 11, 2025 08:18AM
“I will happily go back into the woods, find some sticks, and build you a tripod, Daphne,” he says.
LOVE HIM
ivy
is 18% done
“That’s no problem,” Miles says, pouring a taste of white wine for each of us. “All we have to do is get married, and then stay together until they split up. And if they have kids, just have one more than them. If they get a dog, we get a cuter dog. If they buy a new house, we get a mansion.”
#ilovemiles
— Aug 11, 2025 06:05AM
#ilovemiles
