Atiyeh’s Reviews > Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships > Status Update

let this be for you. Your goals needn’t please anybody else. Pay careful attention to your own needs; play your own game.

■ Return the faulty vacuum cleaner to the store
■ Say no to the finder of committee members at work
■ Express my love for my spouse in some way every day
■ Invite my new neighbor over for coffee
■ Start listening to recorded seminars (online or on CDs) about speaking out

Compliment those close to me more frequently
■ Speak out in front of groups more often
■ Say no and stick to it
■ Improve my eye contact in conversation
■ Not say “I’m sorry” or “I hate to bother you” so much

Behave more assertively with my spouse
■ Take more risks in my life
■ Reduce my anxiety about behaving assertively
Overcome my fear of conflict and anger

Remind yourself to break your major goals into small, manageable steps. Take your time; the end will be in sight soon. You’ll notice changes in yourself. You’ll reach your goals, one step at a time.

don’t look at the dire consequences; start with the first small step, and let that small success provide the courage to take another and another. The small-step goals will add up until the major goal is accomplished.

autonomy (choosing your goals, values, and plans), integrity (meaning, self-worth), interdependence (acceptance, closeness, warmth, community), play (fun, laughter), spiritual communion (beauty, harmony, peace), and physical nurturance (air, food, shelter)

Appropriate for the person and situation , not universal
Socially responsible Both inborn (elements of temperament) and learned (styles of behavior)
As persistent as is necessary to achieve one’s goals without violating the ten points above