Beth’s Reviews > My Big Fat Vampire Wedding > Status Update

‘Within the card, just a simple message from her great-great-grandmother.
You need to see how incompatible you are with a human.
Enjoy the next three days with your betrothed.
In the unyielding sun.’

Granny’s a bitch

‘This was clearly the Mediterranean.
And that village full of blue-washed buildings?
That could only be one place.
Chefchaouen.’

Oooh I just googled it, I wanna go

"She was watching the crow from the window today. Saying things like, Love you, pretty bird.'"
"Vlad, that's all she can say," Pandora said. "She's not like you. She has a very limited vocabulary."

😂😭

I’m not as into this book as I thought I would be, nothings really happening

"There's some forums for vampires like us. Ones who don't want to use humans like that, who wish we could all coexist peacefully."
"You want to see about marketing this product to them?"

Weirdest business plan I’ve ever heard of

‘Dante looked sympathetic as he just stood there with his arm not sizzling or smoking.
Then he used that arm to reach into his pocket, producing a tube that looked a bit like a lip balm, but at least twice that size.’

Oh fuck off, don’t tell me sunscreen works on vampires 😭

‘She sure loved the idea of eternity to read all the books she still had on her to-be-read shelf.’

‘There were many times Pandora had needed to go out in the daylight over the years. Precautions had to be taken. Long sleeves, gloves, oversized hats, and umbrellas or parasols.’

Sunlight doesn’t seem to be an issue for vampires in this book and I just tho I that’s so fucking boring