Lexie Carroll’s Reviews > When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times > Status Update

If we find ourselves in what seems like a rotten or a painful situation and we think “well, how is THIS enlightenment?” We can remember this notion of the path being the goal- that what seems undesirable in our lives doesn’t have to put us to sleep or trigger habitual reactions. We can let it show us where we’re at, and how we might further wake up. Remember that ALL things are workable, not just some things.

The instruction is to relate compassionately with where we find ourselves and to begin to see our predicament as workable. We are stuck in patterns of grasping & fixating, which caused the same thoughts & reactions to occur again and again. In this way, we project our world. When we see this for what it is, even if it’s only for one second every three weeks, then we’ll begin to discover reversing this process.

We often forget to apply the teachings when we get stuck: when we are angry or brokenhearted, or in despair- times like this it seems meditation or the teachings don’t quite cut the mustard. One of the tricks seems to be having enough faith [in the Dharma] to bring it right into our nightmares, not as an unusable theory to distance us from major issues but as good medicine that is applicable always & everywhere.

The less our speech and actions are clouded by opinion, the more they will communicate, not only to the people who are polluting the rivers, but also to those putting pressure on them. This nonaggressive process requires enormous patience. Do everything as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered, while knowing all the time that it doesn’t matter at all. This leads to more appreciation and less burnout.

No matter how well documented/noble our cause is, it won’t be helped by our feeling aggression toward the oppressors. Nothing will ever change through aggression. When we hold onto our opinions with aggression, no matter how valid our cause, we simply add more aggression to the planet, increasing violence & pain. Cultivating non-aggression is cultivating peace. The way to stop the war is to stop hating the enemy.

Meditation is a totally nonviolent, non-aggressive occupation. Not filling the space, allowing for the possibility of connecting with unconditional openness – this provides the basis for real change. When we cling thoughts & memories we are clinging to what cannot be grasped. When we touch& let these go, we discover a space, a break in the chatter, a glimpse of open sky. All compassion & inspiration come from that.

Spiritual awakening is often described as a journey to the top of a mountain where we transcend pain. The only problem with this metaphor is that we leave all others behind while we personally escape. The true process is a journey downwards, not up. Instead of transcending suffering of all creatures, we move toward the turbulence & doubt, not pushing pain away. At the bottom is healing water, love that will not die.

We think that by protecting ourselves from suffering, we are being kind to ourselves. The truth is, we only become more fearful, more hardened, and more alienated. We become separate from the whole, an imprisonment that restricts us to our personal hopes and fears, and only caring for our inner circle. Yet, when we don’t close off, and we let our hearts break, we discover our kinship with all beings.

How do I communicate with someone who is hurting me or hurting a lot of people? How do I speak to someone so that change actually occurs? It starts with being willing to feel what we are going through, willing to have a compassionate relationship with [disowned] parts of ourselves. Over time we open up more and shut down less, our protective shells melt, more areas of life become workable; the circle widens.

Being compassionate is a pretty tall order, especially if we are people who want to help others. Sooner or later all our buttons get pushed, our own unresolved issues come up; we’ll be confronted with ourselves. What we hate in ourselves, we’ll hate in others. Having compassion starts & ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don’t want to look at.