Kareem’s Reviews > The Count of Monte Cristo > Status Update

“My mother is remarkable, and if there were a woman like her but 20 years younger, I’d already be married.”

WOAH SLOW DOWN THERE ALBERT

A) welcome back Oedipus
B) you’re saying this to her first love who was secret policed the day he was to marry her
C) you’re literally describing Haydee (and it’s why I think Haydee and Edmond are gonna be together even though she’s like a quarter century younger)

This chapter where Edmond discusses toxicology might be the most racist chapter. As with a lot of what he says, it’s unclear how much is the Count playing to the racism of the Parisians and how much is from Dumas himself.

Considering Dumas was half black, I give him SOME benefit of the doubt, but that doesn’t mean I won’t go, “Wow, that was racist”

It’s interesting the way Edmond pursues the downfall of his nemeses.

To Danglars, who only cares about money, he says, “I am richer than you.”

To Fernand, who only cares about social status, he says, “I am more loved than you.”

To Villefort, who only cares for his ambition, he says, “I am better than you.”

Ali simultaneously being Edmond’s best friend and slave is quite the whiplash. With the added context that slavery was abolished in France two years after Dumas finished writing this book, I can’t tell if it’s a condemnation of Edmond or of Dumas himself.

Maybe there’s more to it that I’m not aware of yet, but I doubt it. Rich people loved grateful slaves, and this book was for them

Edmond: trickster hero? Or dastardly wraith? In his disguise as the abbey, he saved Bertuccio’s life and listened to the traumatizing stories of witnessing Villefort try to kill his own newborn bastard son, and then later saw the aftermath of Caderousse’s murder of the jeweler (as well as the corpse of Caderousse’s wife). Then in his Count alter ego, forces him to tell the story in full again. Chill on him bro?

Me, earlier: Poor Caderousse. Wrong place, wrong time, too cowardly to speak up for fear of his own life, but carrying the hand he had in Edmond’s “death” with him for the rest of his life

Me, now: 👁️ 👄 👁️

It’s extremely clear to the reader that Mercedes recognizes the man-formerly-known-as-Edmond. Unfortunately, I’m given to understand that this book has abandoned the Count as a POV character and is now reliant on the people around him’s POVs, so who knows when we’ll get his thoughts on the current her.

Also, Dumas apparently loves Corsicans, but man are the French just casually racist against them.

Franz: Albert, the Count is not who he claims to be. He is dangerous and might have had a hand in your kidnapping. I know so because he had me smoke weed with him in a cave, and I overheard him scheming with bandits.

Albert: *listens intently* Oh wow! Sounds like he’s a really smart and rich guy! And he helped me get unkidnapped, too! He’s a right proper man, and I’m glad I invited him to my home in Paris!

Albert
- spent 6 months on vacation chasing tail
- fell in love with a femboy so cute he thought he was a girl
- got kidnapped, told he was going to be murdered if ransom wasn’t paid by morning, promptly said “bet,” and went straight to sleep
- got woken up in his cell in the middle of the night to be told his ransom was paid, and he complained that they could have at least waited until morning to wake him

Mercedes is stronger than me for having to deal with her idiot son.

Also, the narrator is killing me. He seemingly can’t do high pitched voices except that they are one of his innocent women voices or else an old man voice. Sir, Albert is 20. Why does he sound like Edmond’s dad?